Being a Stay at Home Mom...without losing it

Okay. I know what you're thinking. I've been nutty in my previous posts, talking about the kids driving me crazy. Frankly, I think ANYONE who claims to be completely sane is suspect. But still, it IS possible to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) without going totally nuts.
But how?
I've actually had a lot of conversations with friends and family lately about how hard it is to maintain an identity, and your sanity, when you are subjected to too much Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, and Wubbzy all day. No idea what I'm talking about? You're lucky!
The shows in and of themselves are not bad. They teach some great stuff, about animals, and helping each other, and not taking yourself too seriously. But when a show repeats its theme music FIFTY FREAKIN' TIMES in ONE episode (only a slight exaggeration), then you've got a problem.
So what do you do? If you have a small place, like an apartment, it's kinda hard to avoid. I'm lucky that I have an office toward the back of a narrow house that keeps me separated from most of the insanity. Trouble is, it also keeps me separated from the kids.
They watch too much TV. I admit it. Since I've been so pregnant and sick, I've actually avoided being in a position where they can tumble on me, like on the couch, for fear that they might squish me a bit too hard and cause....well, you know. It has happened. It is not fun.
I hate being away from them. So what do I do instead?
Well, first of all, I spend way too much time on this evil one-eyed monster. Okay, maybe it's not evil. But it sure is addicting! Surfing the net for news, blogs, weirdness, etc. It's too hot to go outside, there is nowhere else comfortable to sit in the house, and being on my feet too much is just too exhausting.
So in the last few weeks, I've looked for alternatives. Something else to think about besides "okay, which one is stinky this time". It really helps a SAHM, when you do not want or need a career, when you can still have a sense of self. A hobby, or just SOMETHING to make you feel like you are still an adult, still relevant, and can still carry on an intelligent conversation beyond which brand of diaper is best.
I'm signed up to sell at the Farmer's Market. So, what to sell? I was planning on selling jewelry, but there are too many of those kinds of booths already. I had planned on making rag dolls, so this was my next project.
Enter Esther.
She was utterly FASCINATED! When I told her I was cutting out arms and legs, she just gave me this blank look. But when those parts were sewn and I was attaching them to the body, I could see her gears turning as she "got it". She helped me pin and unpin it, I made her responsible for stuffing all the pins back into my pink tomato pincushion. Once the stitching was done, she helped me stuff it. It took forever, hand sewn, because the power cord to my machine is currently MIA.
It was ugly. Ungainly. Totally disproportionate. Vaguely scary. Highly disappointing. Clearly, I had not printed out the pattern correctly. It looked like something that was thrown together from scraps by someone with only a vague idea of what people look like. (which is half true, it was made from scrap fabric)
And she LOVED it!
She wouldn't even let me finish stuffing it before she wanted it. So I gave it to her. Over an hour, with a few bait-and-switch tactics, I managed to get it stuffed. Over the last couple of days, I added eyes, which made it even scarier because the head is too small.
But she loves it. She chose the green eyes. And she won't go to bed without it. She is over the moon about the craziest things.
Inevitably, Taea decided she wanted the dolly too. Being only 20 months, she has no concept of property, so she just took it. Honestly, I think World War 2 started more quietly. So I solved it by working on Test Doll number 2, using different scrap fabric. Still scary, still ungainly, but a bit closer to my final goal.
She loved it.
Hers, unlike Esther's, has no eyes. I didn't want to take the risk of her biting them off and swallowing them. The eyes, by the way, are nothing more than simple buttons sewn on with upholstery thread. But she loves it just the same. Next up: Clothing. They don't seem to notice that their dollies are naked, but eventually, they might. So simple A-line dresses will do.
Test doll number 3 is done, this one I insisted is "mommy's dolly". I gave this one a full face with a.......well, I don't really want to call it a smile. I've never seen anything less like one. This is the scariest of the three, by far. But the proportions are finally right, which is what I was after. This is the test doll for hair, eyes, and the mouth. I have since practiced making smiles on some scrap cloth on an embroidery hoop, and I think I've got it.
ANYWAY, in my quest to find something to get me out of the house, and give me a hobby to help me maintain an identity other than just "Mom", I managed to find a way to connect with Esther. Taea is another story, I don't let her in the office that often because it's too full of glass and pins and other dangerous stuff, but Esther loves to come in, sit on the step stool, and "help" me sew. As I type, I can feel my chair twitch. She's in here now, probably wondering what is so fascinating about this glowing thing that Mommy stares at. But that's all right. When I'm done here, we'll start on Dolly #4, which will be the first doll made out of the actual tea-stained muslin I bought for making the dolls. This oughta be fun.
Oh, and Jeff bought me a cutting mat! That is the number one thing about crafting. If you don't have the right tools, you will either frustrate yourself to no end, or badly damage a great antique. (My mom's sewing cabinet, which she has since given to me) It needs a little refinishing, and some scratch repair here and there, but there is nothing like a quilter's cutting wheel to make your furniture run screaming into the night.
So now I have what I need to solve two problems. A) Maintaining my hobby of creating beautiful works of art, which I love, and B) connecting with my daughters. When the girls are old enough, I will teach them to sew just as my mom taught me. The machine is different, but the setting is the same.
So what can you do to maintain your own sanity? I guess this is more than just a blog post, this is more like a series! Step one, find something, ANYTHING, that is reasonably priced, that you enjoy, and that can be done at home. Reading, writing, painting, it can be anything as long as it is something that you can put away relatively easy. Nothing challenges sanity like walking into a room and finding the crochet project that you worked on for 100+ hours unraveled all over the floor. (Yes, this has happened, although in my case it was a single square that only took two hours, but STILL....) Find something that can help you connect with the kids. As they watch you, their curiosity will bloom, and you will enjoy each other's company a lot more than if you just sat on the couch and watched Dora consult her map for the five trillionth time.
What if your kids prove to have no aptitude for it whatsoever? So what. At least they tried something new. It will only take a few "something new"s for them to find something they enjoy, that you can share, and that they're good at. It's about broadening their world.
And at the same time, you broaden yours. Seriously. You want to maintain sanity? Give yourself something else to think about. You'll be VERY glad you did.