Time Management equals Stress Management

Ah, the joys of finding things you once thought were lost...yes, that's right, I FOUND THE DING-DANG SEWING MACHINE CORD! The cord was black, and it was tucked in a black rubber bin, so it blended perfectly. The only reason I found it is because I nearly tangled in it when I went to put the step-stool away. I brushed up against the cords, looked up, spotted the very distinctive plug that goes into the machine itself, and just about when nuts! Then, my dear sweet hubby was kind enough to haul the 400+ pound cabinet forward far enough to get everything plugged in, so I am ready to sew!
So now I have a choice. Do I honor his labor and start sewing immediately? I have some absolutely darling baby patterns for rompers and buntings and really cute stuff. Or do I get started on the blessing afghan I've been promising to make for the new baby (who is due in December). He found the yarn for that on Saturday. Notice how a lot of my progress in ANYTHING is tied to his presence???
Or do I get going on the ragdolls that he bought me the cutting mat for? Or maybe all three? Nothing says I can't do three things at once. I'm a woman! I can do sewing stuff in the office when the girls are up, and crochet in the living room when they're asleep.
Hmm...so many choices. So much cuteness to be discovered! I need to invite some friends over for a sew/crochet party or something!
Okay, calm down girl!
Notice something? I am so very very excited about all of this. And yet...what does it mean for me? Additional things to occupy my free time, which is rare as it is.
That is something of a segue into my third posting on how to survive as a mommy. Unnecessary stuff cluttering up our time.
Now, granted, the items I have mentioned are not bad in and of themselves. The dolls are meant to be income items, to be sold at the Farmer's Market. The baby clothes are for my little boy, who, at this point, doesn't have a whole lot of clothes yet. At least, not clothes that aren't pink, purple, and very girly. And the afghan is something of a tradition for me. Each of my kids so far has had a special blanket for their blessing. Esther had one from her step-grandma. Taea had one I made years ago for my hope chest.
Still, they are all very time-consuming projects. They could consume ME if I let them.
Then there is the fact that I have been given three different book series, and I haven't started on any of them. I know, those of you who know me are gasping in shock right now. My library rivals that of any school in the state in size. But still, I learned a very important lesson about books. They tend to envelope you to the point that EVERYTHING else gets neglected until you finish the very last sentence of the very last page of the very last book. Granted, I am a fast reader, but we're still talking at least two weeks of reading material here!
No, I am saving the books for this winter, when I am too fat to get up and do anything else.
So where am I going with this?
A lot of SAHM's who are frustrated with their lives mention they just don't have time for themselves. You're right, you don't. Your time belongs to everyone else, 24/7/365. And why? Because you let it.
Now, before you lynch me, no I am not blaming you. There are a lot of good things in the world for us to do. Good, necessary, important stuff, like feeding and clothing our kids. And for those of use who were raised with an "idle hands are the devil's workshop" mentality, it is practically impossible to sit still. I was raised by a woman with Great Depression parents, and it is so interesting to watch her sometimes. She is virtually incapable of sitting still. If she isn't actively doing something while she is watching TV, she has a notebook in her hands, learning something from the stock gurus on the various business channels. It is rare for her to watch an entire recreational movie from beginning to end.
And what does that do? Well, it tends to make your life so noisy, you end up constantly pent up and frustrated. Lately, due to lifelong arthritis and such, she has been forced to slow down. I have actually seen her on the couch, once or twice, not doing anything! But not because she wants to. Because she has to.
Is that what us young mothers want to come to? Work ourselves so hard with this, that, and the other that we end up with no life left in us by the time the kids are grown and gone?
It is time to prioritize, ladies. It is time for us to determine what is truly important. We need to find time in our day, even if it is just five minutes, to just sit down, relax, and be quiet. No radio, no TV, no books, nothing. Just relax, let your brain unwind, and be still.
Have you ever done archery? Have you ever seen what happens to a bowstring when it is constantly wound up tight? Over time, it tends to stretch and lose its spring. In rare cases, I've seen overwound bowstrings snap. I don't know about you, but if I were to snap, it would not be pretty. My family would be emotionally scarred for life.
We need time to ourselves. Yes, I've mentioned it is good for us to have hobbies, but hobbying and relaxing should be different things. If you find it is impossible for you to actually sit still during your relaxation, try taking up a meditative activity, like yoga. Such things are focused on helping the body be calm and flexible. Slow, easy movements can help to get you back into a focused rhythm that will help the rest of your day go so much easier. Do I speak from experience? No, I am about as flexible as a statue. I've never been able to touch my toes. But I do like stretching. I understand the concept. You have to take the time to let your mind and body quiet. I do feel much better and quieter after simple stretching. Frankly, stretching is good anyway because it can make us more nimble and less prone to injury.
Some of you are undoubtedly saying "but I just don't have the time until evening after the kids are in bed, and then I'm too tired." That's perfect. The best time for your body to be at peace is right before bed. My brain has the annoying habit of going a thousand miles a minutes before I go to bed, so it takes me forever just to get to sleep.
Experts have suggested a variety of sleep helps. Relaxation is definitely one of them. After you get the kitchen cleaned, toys picked up, lunches made for school and work, and throw in a load of wash, just sit down. Relax. TV is not the best idea. The rapid-fire images and light will actually make you more pent up than before you sat down!
Play some relaxing music if you must. Something without words, something soothing. Sit back, try some stretching or yoga, and just let the stress of the day unwind. Even if you only do this for fifteen minutes or so, I think you'll find you have a much easier time getting to sleep, and that is key to recharging your body and mind for the next day. If you find that you can't turn your brain off, keep a notepad by the bed so you can write down things to do the next day, or reminders of things that need to be taken care of. Write them down, then let them go so you can sleep.
Once you work out a pattern of evening relaxation, try to find a point during the daytime hours when you can do the same thing. Right after babies go down for nap, or when they're involved in quiet activity, or anytime you can leave them for a few minutes. Just find a quiet spot, sit back, and just relax. If the kids intrude, explain that mommy is resting for a minute, and they need to go do something else. Stick to your guns on this. You kids WILL survive five minutes without you. After a while, they will get used to the idea. And I think they will like a relaxed mommy much better than a keyed-up, stressed out one.
If you have to eliminate something on your to-do list, do it! Remember the crafts I mentioned earlier? If my sanity is hanging by a thread, the last thing I need to do is add another project to my list. Just let something go, something trivial, even something that can just plain wait. I think you'll actually be surprised by how much you get done when you have a new, relaxed state of mind. Admit it, you know you function better when you're in a good mood than when you're stressed. Stress causes your brain to fuzz. You're much more likely to make dumb mistakes, or forget something, which just causes you extra work. Taking the five minutes to calm down could save you hours of work undoing your mistakes later!! Ever had to rewash a load of dishes or clothes because you forgot the soap? (Me!)
Mommyhood is about much more than just survival, ladies! It's about surviving with our wits and our health as intact as possible. It's time to take back our time, spend some time on ourselves, and refill our depleted energy reservoirs as much as possible. We've all heard the studies. It is impossible for us to do our best for our families when we are completely exhausted. Don't feel guilty about the time you take for yourself, because it is as much for them as it is for us. To be the best mommy you can, you have to feel your best.
Hang in there!

The sacred storage bin spawning grounds

Junk. Stuff. Kitsch. Knick-knacks. Old paperwork. Toys. Tools. Winter Clothes.
Holy cow, where is all this crap coming from??
Our stuff HAS to be spawning. There is no possible way we could have this much stuff! True, a lot of it is craft stuff. And true, we did inherit my father-in-law's stuff when he passed away. Now there is a true packrat! The guy kept every pair of glasses he ever owned. Which wasn't entirely a bad thing. We donated them to a program that takes used glasses to the poor in third-world countries.
But still....so much stuff!
I guess this is supposed to be a rough segue into my next article on how to be a SAHM without totally losing it. Keeping your stuff from swallowing you and your family whole. Remember the scene in Aladdin where the sands of the hourglass are burying Jasmine? Yeah, that's how I feel some days!
I've heard all the professional organizers' advice. I watched the organization shows on HGTV. The general rule? If you haven't used it for six months, and it isn't a seasonal item, THROW IT OUT! Donate it to charity. Whatever, just get rid of it.
Okay, well, for those without a sentimental bone in their body, that works. In my case...well, I haven't actually "used" my antique china doll for six months. I'm the fifth generation to own it. I'm not going to throw out an antique! Or the antique jewelry boxes my grandmother gave me. Or the oodles of journals Jeff's father left us. Some stuff is important!
But what the heck do you do with it? How do you tell the difference between items with genuine sentimental value and stuff that is just plain junk?
First of all, the glasses weren't the weirdest thing that he ever kept. He also kept old shavers, I guess in hopes that he could "fix" them. I mean the electric kind. We found three different electronic stud finders, each with some kind of malfunction. Why...?
I don't know if we'll ever know! That is the kind of stuff you throw out. Be totally and brutally honest with yourself. What is the likelihood that you'll ever get around to fixing it? Granted, if you are one of those people that can take a toaster apart and put it back together without batting an eye, then yes, maybe someday you'll be able to fix it.
If not...you know what to do. Throw it out. Recycle it. If we're not talking about a hygeine product, and it is an item that is still useful, donate it to charity.
Okay, that takes care of "stuff". I think you are smart enough to tell whether something truly has sentimental value, or whether it is just junk that a relative happened to pass on to you. Only you can tell, but be honest with yourself. If it isn't something you would use or display, and no one else in the family is interested, just get rid of it. Too much stuff tends to be like a giant weight around your neck. And besides, who wants to waste money on a storage space for stuff that you will, in all honesty, NEVER use?
Now, what about paperwork? This tends to tread into territory that involves legalities. I do not pretend to be a legal expert, nor will I ever be one, so any advice I give here is strictly my personal rule, and not intended to be a substitute for a good conversation with a lawyer or financial planner.
Generally, if it is paperwork for an account that is closed, is more than five years old, and has nothing to do with your taxes, shred it. Get rid of it. I know people who have kept their old checkbook NCR copies for checking accounts from 30 years ago. Unless you've got something in those old stubs that you wrote off on your taxes, what is the point? All that paper does is attract mice, bugs, and storage space fees.
Now, if you want to play it safe, go buy a scanner and scan all those old statements onto a DVD. Scanners are relatively cheap, easy to use, and there is nothing that says it has to take up precious hard drive space. Just burn it to a CD or DVD, and keep it in a safe place. Most document folders can be backed up to just a few discs, and that is something that will fit in most safe-deposit boxes. Besides, backing up your hard drive is a good idea anyway. Hardware doesn't last forever, and you don't want to lose all those family photos you just spent three months scanning in.
Clothing. This is an even harder one, especially for those of use whose weight tends to...um...shall we say...fluctuate? Yes, I am pregnant, I have an excuse, but I have always been a touch on the "fluffy" side. So what do you do with all those old clothes from high school you always swore you would fit into again?
Well, you know fashion. Things never stay in style for very long. Even timeless things like jeans can only last so long in a rubber bin before the aforementioned mice/bugs get to them. (Yes, even in a bin!) And besides, let's face it ladies. After three kids, what is the likelihood you'll ever be able to stuff your mommy hips into those size 2 jeans again?
Then there is the fact that the fashion industry keeps changing size guidelines. Size 2 these days is not what size 2 was ten years ago. Heck, size 2 for one designer isn't even the same as for another designer!
So what do you do? Yes, you'll have some stuff you want to store because you don't want your cashmere sweaters taking up space in July when you have perfectly good sundresses to hang in that spot. Buy some space bags, find a few shelves in the basement or garage that are away from the door or windows, up off the floor, and put them there. Winter coats, gloves, hats, scarves...anything you don't currently have room for, put away.
Then, when winter comes, you take those nice sundresses and pack them away in the same bags. Put your winter stuff in the closet. Just swap them out.
If the clothes don't fit, and they're more than 2 sizes away from your current size, and they're not maternity clothes, just get rid of them. I'm sure the local Goodwill, DI, or Salvation Army will be glad for the donations, especially in these tough times. People are barely skrimping by, and it will be a big boost to those who actually need those items. They're not doing you any good in the garage, so they might as well cover someone else's shivering bod! Frankly, that rule could go for just about anything you sort. If it isn't doing you any good, and someone else could use it, get rid of it!
If you still have the dress you wore to prom, and you just can't part with it, then fine. Remember our discussion about sentimental value? Just don't go overboard. Letter sweaters, old band or choir t-shirts, football/basketball jerseys--stuff that is part of your personal history are okay. I would give yourself a single bin for such clothing mementos. Anything beyond that, get rid of. (Oh, that limit does not apply to wedding dresses. I mean, c'mon, they're a box unto themselves!)
Hmm, so what is left? Well, when we bought our house, there were a lot of old tools, fertilizer, and other gardening stuff left in the garage from the previous owner. Some of it is useful, a lot of it was redundant. Anyone who has owned a home for a while knows what I'm talking about. You can't find the rake, so you buy another one. Soon, you have five of them. Now what??
Well, if you have a large yard, and older kids, it is a good idea to have more than one shovel, more than one rake. But you probably don't need five. See if your local secondhand shop takes stuff like that. If not, see if there is a young family in the neighborhood that needs yard tools. Donate them to the scouts. Turn it into a lawn ornament. Whatever. Just don't let it take up space in the garage!
Here's another general rule for stuff like that. If it is broken, throw it out. I don't care how well-intentioned you are about fixing an item, if you haven't bought a replacement pole for that push-broom head, and it has been sitting in the garage for more than a month, chances are it will never get fixed. Toss it.
Now there are dozens of other categories we could touch on. Art supplies (guilty grin), kid stuff, toys, etc. But I think you get the idea. Be totally honest, determine whether an item truly has value, or whether the space is worth more than the item. And don't worry about whether Great-Auntie Ethel will freak about you tossing out her old stained damask tablecloth. I highly doubt it will cause a family feud. And if it does...let's be honest people. That implies majorly screwed-up priorities! Just be honest and tell her you weren't using it and you needed the space. If it was an item of major sentimental value, she shouldn't have given it away in the first place!
Yes, once again, I'm the pot calling the kettle black. But I'm trying! Our garage looks better now than it has all summer, and I have the boxes prioritized as to what needs to be sorted first. It is a start. The key is to get started. A box a week. Bring it in to your table, set yourself down, and just do it. Do it again next week. Before you know it, you'll have found that darn missing SEWING MACHINE PEDAL, and everything else you thought had been lost/stolen eons ago. The stuff you truly value will finally have a place, and you'll have more peace in your heart and your home.
And you'll be investing less in mousetraps!

Being a Stay at Home Mom...without losing it

Okay. I know what you're thinking. I've been nutty in my previous posts, talking about the kids driving me crazy. Frankly, I think ANYONE who claims to be completely sane is suspect. But still, it IS possible to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) without going totally nuts.
But how?
I've actually had a lot of conversations with friends and family lately about how hard it is to maintain an identity, and your sanity, when you are subjected to too much Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, and Wubbzy all day. No idea what I'm talking about? You're lucky!
The shows in and of themselves are not bad. They teach some great stuff, about animals, and helping each other, and not taking yourself too seriously. But when a show repeats its theme music FIFTY FREAKIN' TIMES in ONE episode (only a slight exaggeration), then you've got a problem.
So what do you do? If you have a small place, like an apartment, it's kinda hard to avoid. I'm lucky that I have an office toward the back of a narrow house that keeps me separated from most of the insanity. Trouble is, it also keeps me separated from the kids.
They watch too much TV. I admit it. Since I've been so pregnant and sick, I've actually avoided being in a position where they can tumble on me, like on the couch, for fear that they might squish me a bit too hard and cause....well, you know. It has happened. It is not fun.
I hate being away from them. So what do I do instead?
Well, first of all, I spend way too much time on this evil one-eyed monster. Okay, maybe it's not evil. But it sure is addicting! Surfing the net for news, blogs, weirdness, etc. It's too hot to go outside, there is nowhere else comfortable to sit in the house, and being on my feet too much is just too exhausting.
So in the last few weeks, I've looked for alternatives. Something else to think about besides "okay, which one is stinky this time". It really helps a SAHM, when you do not want or need a career, when you can still have a sense of self. A hobby, or just SOMETHING to make you feel like you are still an adult, still relevant, and can still carry on an intelligent conversation beyond which brand of diaper is best.
I'm signed up to sell at the Farmer's Market. So, what to sell? I was planning on selling jewelry, but there are too many of those kinds of booths already. I had planned on making rag dolls, so this was my next project.
Enter Esther.
She was utterly FASCINATED! When I told her I was cutting out arms and legs, she just gave me this blank look. But when those parts were sewn and I was attaching them to the body, I could see her gears turning as she "got it". She helped me pin and unpin it, I made her responsible for stuffing all the pins back into my pink tomato pincushion. Once the stitching was done, she helped me stuff it. It took forever, hand sewn, because the power cord to my machine is currently MIA.
It was ugly. Ungainly. Totally disproportionate. Vaguely scary. Highly disappointing. Clearly, I had not printed out the pattern correctly. It looked like something that was thrown together from scraps by someone with only a vague idea of what people look like. (which is half true, it was made from scrap fabric)
And she LOVED it!
She wouldn't even let me finish stuffing it before she wanted it. So I gave it to her. Over an hour, with a few bait-and-switch tactics, I managed to get it stuffed. Over the last couple of days, I added eyes, which made it even scarier because the head is too small.
But she loves it. She chose the green eyes. And she won't go to bed without it. She is over the moon about the craziest things.
Inevitably, Taea decided she wanted the dolly too. Being only 20 months, she has no concept of property, so she just took it. Honestly, I think World War 2 started more quietly. So I solved it by working on Test Doll number 2, using different scrap fabric. Still scary, still ungainly, but a bit closer to my final goal.
She loved it.
Hers, unlike Esther's, has no eyes. I didn't want to take the risk of her biting them off and swallowing them. The eyes, by the way, are nothing more than simple buttons sewn on with upholstery thread. But she loves it just the same. Next up: Clothing. They don't seem to notice that their dollies are naked, but eventually, they might. So simple A-line dresses will do.
Test doll number 3 is done, this one I insisted is "mommy's dolly". I gave this one a full face with a.......well, I don't really want to call it a smile. I've never seen anything less like one. This is the scariest of the three, by far. But the proportions are finally right, which is what I was after. This is the test doll for hair, eyes, and the mouth. I have since practiced making smiles on some scrap cloth on an embroidery hoop, and I think I've got it.
ANYWAY, in my quest to find something to get me out of the house, and give me a hobby to help me maintain an identity other than just "Mom", I managed to find a way to connect with Esther. Taea is another story, I don't let her in the office that often because it's too full of glass and pins and other dangerous stuff, but Esther loves to come in, sit on the step stool, and "help" me sew. As I type, I can feel my chair twitch. She's in here now, probably wondering what is so fascinating about this glowing thing that Mommy stares at. But that's all right. When I'm done here, we'll start on Dolly #4, which will be the first doll made out of the actual tea-stained muslin I bought for making the dolls. This oughta be fun.
Oh, and Jeff bought me a cutting mat! That is the number one thing about crafting. If you don't have the right tools, you will either frustrate yourself to no end, or badly damage a great antique. (My mom's sewing cabinet, which she has since given to me) It needs a little refinishing, and some scratch repair here and there, but there is nothing like a quilter's cutting wheel to make your furniture run screaming into the night.
So now I have what I need to solve two problems. A) Maintaining my hobby of creating beautiful works of art, which I love, and B) connecting with my daughters. When the girls are old enough, I will teach them to sew just as my mom taught me. The machine is different, but the setting is the same.
So what can you do to maintain your own sanity? I guess this is more than just a blog post, this is more like a series! Step one, find something, ANYTHING, that is reasonably priced, that you enjoy, and that can be done at home. Reading, writing, painting, it can be anything as long as it is something that you can put away relatively easy. Nothing challenges sanity like walking into a room and finding the crochet project that you worked on for 100+ hours unraveled all over the floor. (Yes, this has happened, although in my case it was a single square that only took two hours, but STILL....) Find something that can help you connect with the kids. As they watch you, their curiosity will bloom, and you will enjoy each other's company a lot more than if you just sat on the couch and watched Dora consult her map for the five trillionth time.
What if your kids prove to have no aptitude for it whatsoever? So what. At least they tried something new. It will only take a few "something new"s for them to find something they enjoy, that you can share, and that they're good at. It's about broadening their world.
And at the same time, you broaden yours. Seriously. You want to maintain sanity? Give yourself something else to think about. You'll be VERY glad you did.

Craziness

Sigh. It's July. Well, actually, the month is almost over. Makes me feel kinda guilty, I haven't done a single Farmer's Market yet, and I paid for a season pass.
I'll have to make up for it this fall, I guess.
Anyway, still got nasty icky morning sickness. It's actually gotten to the point where I really am sick more in the morning, when I first get up. I'm down to a quarter of my meds, and I'm able to eat/drink dairy, so I am improving.
However, in talking to my Grandma, she told me that with each of her pregnancies, she got progressively WORSE, not better. Ouch. I sure hope I didn't inherit her genes, though I certainly seem to have inherited other stuff from that side. With her last one, she was in the hospital for 3 months!
Of course, that was before the era of prescription drugs.
Anyway, things are improving a bit. Still having to deal with side effects, but I think my body is FINALLY getting the hang of dealing with it. If I have to be sick for the rest of the pregnancy, I guess I'll deal with it. The current hope is that when the summer heat goes away, the dehydration will cease, and the majority of the sickness will go away.
Okay, okay, enough of that. Esther is still growing like a weed. I was digging through her drawer looking for a t-shirt, and I can't believe how many things don't fit anymore! I need to just take it all out and dump it in Taea's drawer, since she'll be wearing that stuff next. Of course, that would mean Esther would be left with next to nothing to wear for winter!
I know I have a couple of boxes of 4T stuff around here somewhere. I guess I better get digging before my little girl has to go to school naked!
Taea is.....well, Taea. She is growing too fast, her 24 month stuff is too small, and she's only 20 months! Eesh. Well, I guess I better qualify that. She has her daddy's long torso, and short legs, so 18 month pants fit, but the shirts are another matter. She is getting braver every day, climbing on absolutely EVERYTHING she can reach. Kinda scary.
And James? I'm getting BUTTERFLY FLUTTERS! He's getting big enough and moving enough I'm just barely starting to feel him! Yes, I'm sure of it, it's too solid and too random to be anything else. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, during which I will schedule my ultrasound. That will be so freakin' awesome!
Of course, that also makes it so much more real. Gotta get the bassinet out one of these days and start cataloguing all the clothes we've bought/been given over the last year or so.
Things are just going so darn FAST right now. I kinda wish life would slow down a bit! But I guess that's just what happens. Time flies faster the older you get.
I hear a mouse creeping around my kitchen. Gotta go see what she's up to now! One of these days I'll get some pics posted.

Ugh

I hate morning sickness. Well, all-day sickness, actually. Tried all the old remedies, tried some newer remedies, and short of getting some heavy duty prescription stuff, nothing has worked.
I haven't actually thrown up. So of course, you're wondering, 'what's the big deal?'. Simple. Once I start, I don't stop for a looooooooong time.
Now that you've got that lovely image in your head, things aren't too bad. The girls are doing well. Esther seems to like going to school on Tuesdays, and we will have her tested in July to see if she needs pre-school in the fall. Taea is using more words now, at least HER version of words. We'll see if she has the same speech problems as Esther.
Bottle-breaking is looming on the horizon like some mythological monster. The girls will go postal on me, but we have no choice. If the bottles have been causing the ear clogs, they have to go. No question about it.
I'm just so spineless when I'm pregnant and sick. I hope this sickness doesn't last as long with the girls. The sickness with Esther ended when I quit my job. With Taea, it culminated in gallbladder surgery. I shudder to think what the catalyst will be this time.
Ah, well, it's two months, (I hope!) then I can get on with things. I have lots of fabric to turn into little boy sleepers. Yes, it's going to be a boy. We know this. Jeff keeps teasing me about twins, I keep reminding him that he'll be helping with 3 am feedings if it is.
Life goes on. I'm a little too tired to think about what else has been going on, so I guess I'll keep this short.

Spring has Sprung!...where's my shovel...

Ah Spring! That wonderful time of the year when everything starts growing, including my garden!
Well, that's the general idea, anyway.
I got a bit of a late start. I haven't started my warm-weather crops yet, and I have two 9-packs of Broccoli waiting to be buried, but I've got other seeds in the ground. I'm hoping I have a decent garden this year, since I signed up to have a booth at the Farmer's Market.
Of course I am not relying on just my crops. I will be selling crafts again, only this time instead of having them all at once, I'll rotate crafts for something different each Saturday.
I hope I have better luck this year than last. I made diddly last year. Oh well, maybe second time's the charm.
The girls are getting so big! And so active. They want to be outside all the time, which is hard, because they are both fair-skinned, and we all fry at the drop of a hat. Forty-five minutes at the park, and Taea and I were both pink. Dunno how Esther escaped! I can't wait for the trees at the park to get their leaves so we can play in the shade!
Anyway, life is moving along. We got a new dishwasher, and it is doing a better job than the last one. I'm hoping we can continue to work on the house and make things better.
Gotta go break up a baby fight. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

Vacationing With Babies 101

Okay, yeah, I just went on vacation, and yes, I'm still recovering!
Driving 800+ miles with two babies ain't for the faint of heart. Especially in winter. We ended up trapped in Pocatello and had to stay overnight because the roads turned into a giant ice rink.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. For the uninformed, we drove up to Oregon for my brother's wedding. We went up a week early so we could see some of the sights up there. We took the girls to the zoo, and went to the Tillamook Cheese Factory, Seaside, and Lloyd Center. That last one was a bit scary, the clientele there isn't exactly the salt of the Earth. We heard there was a shooting there the evening after we shopped there. I certainly won't be going back any time soon!
Anyway, we got to the actual wedding day, which was hectic. And that is putting it mildly. Due to an overly long to-do list, our trailer didn't get loaded until the morning of the wedding, so I ended up at the church two hours late to decorate for the reception. All things considered, I think we pulled it off fairly well. We had a decent turnout, including some people I literally haven't seen in a decade! Ryan and Lisa made such an adorable couple, and except for some wardrobe issues (Lisa's dress was too long and we had no time to hem it!), everything went pretty smoothly. Oh, and word to the wise...when using a chocolate fountain, make sure you have a food grade mini-strainer to pull out crumbs.
Some survival tips for parents traveling with young children--these are things we used on this trip, and for the most part, it worked!
1. Do not try to bottle break a baby right before a trip. I don't care what Great Aunt Dorothy says about your kid being too old, if Baby Timmy doesn't have his ba-ba for a long trip, and he's only been off it a week, both of you will suffer for it!
2. GET A DVD PLAYER! Yes, they can be expensive, but man is it worth it! We took a trip for Thanksgiving and, unfortunately, we did the first half of the drive without the player. Two hours straight of screaming. I kid you not. We ended up stopping a little earlier than we thought for our overnight stay because the babies refused to go to sleep.
Oh, and make sure you spend a little extra on a good brand, and don't forget the warranty. We've gone through three players in the last four months, one of which only lasted one day before the screen went bad. And get one of those carriers that suspends it between the front seats, it will save it from being kicked to death by little feet. If you can afford it, get a permanently mounted player.
3. New Toys-When you're taking a vacation and spending a bundle already, you probably don't need another expense. But when traveling with children under five, get a few new toys. Yes, even if they are noisy, it is worth it. The best ones are ones with lots of buttons to push, interactive board books, that kind of things. These toys would be "car toys", or toys only to be used in the car. The novelty will help to keep Little Janey from screaming for at least a short time, which may be all you need to get to Grandma's house without ending up in a strait jacket.
4. Snacks--Yes, I know I am going to be lynched by dentists everywhere for this one, but again, it is worth it to maintain peace. If you are going on a trip, take a variety of snacks. Some good healthy ones, like apple slices, carrots, celery, and anything else that's fun to munch. Also take a few snacks that your kids may not ordinarily be allowed to have. Sometimes you can get good behavior just with the enticement of those frosted animal crackers, when usually they can only have plain ones.
That is eating between meals, of course, which isn't good for teeth or their weight, but if you moderate the sugary stuff, and maybe pack a toothbrush in your purse for rest stops, you can save yourself a lot of aggravation. If you time the snacks right, you won't ruin their appetite for meals.
5. Comfortable Clothing-You're driving cross-country to go to Disneyland, and you just stopped for the night. You wake up the next morning in your hotel room, and realize that Little Susy's suitcase is at the bottom of the pile in the trunk.
What do you do?
Well, if Little Suzy is in PJs, maybe it would be better to just leave it that way! She will be less likely to wiggle and squirm in her seat if you save that pretty chiffon number for your actual destination. Anything that might make a child uncomfortable, like tight elastic waistbands, or even making them wear their shoes in the car, should be avoided. In fact, taking those shoes off may save the aforementioned DVD player from an untimely destruction.
6. Stick to routine if possible, but be flexible-when traveling, it is nearly impossible to stick to the child's normal routine, such as bedtime. Don't be surprised if, when you arrive at your destination two hours after Little Johnny's bedtime, he is bouncing wildly on the queen size motel bed instead of nodding off. Children can get sudden bursts of energy when their body thinks they have to stay up longer, so it might take longer to get them to sleep.
If they have a regular bedtime routine, don't sacrifice it just because you are in a strange place. Bring along their regular lovey and blanket, this can make them feel more comfortable. If they usually have a bath right before bed, stick to it. You might even bring along a few bath toys. Maintaining a bedtime routine will help calm them, since their body equates these routines with sleep.
Morning routines should also be observed as much as possible. Naptime in the car isn't easy, but it can be done. Quiet the car, tuck them in with their lovey and blanket as usual, and make sure they are in a seat that gives sufficient head and neck support. If not, you might want to invest in, or make, one of those horseshoe shaped neck pillows. Nothing is worse than a toddler with a headache, that can't TELL you they have one. If you are driving at an angle that puts sun in their face, get a window shade. Yes, they make them for minivans too, you can find the right shade for your car at just about any Wal-mart or Target.
7. Sticking to rules-just because Grandma thinks it's okay to turn her living room into a jungle gym, doesn't mean it is okay. Whatever rules you have at home, stick to them on the road. If you are a flexible parent, and don't have a lot of rules for guest decorum, you might want to rehearse such rules a few weeks before going so there are no surprises for the kids upon arrival.
Even so, if your kid gets a little overly excited, and does something they would normally NEVER do at home, try not to go postal. Being in a strange place and off schedule is likely to do strange things to their memory. Remind them gently how they are expected to behave, and if they are bored, try to find something to keep them occupied. Your hosts may not have toys and activities for kids, so either make arrangements beforehand, or bring stuff with you. Remember those new toys we discussed...? If you are comfortable doing so, ask where the neighborhood park is, and let them wear out a little energy. Your hosts might enjoy a walk and sit outside as well, rather than staying in a stuffy house.
8. These tips apply to parents too! If you are on a diet, try not to be too hard on yourself when you nibble on one of those forbidden frosted animal crackers. You are on vacation, and it is supposed to be fun. If the rest of the family is having a great time munching on cotton candy and fried Twinkies, how are you going to feel watching them? No, that is not license to totally blow off your diet, but have a little fun. Make sure your regular meals are balanced. And hey, when you consider the calories you are burning off carrying a 50 pound diaper bag, a 25 pound purse, and a 14 pound baby plus carrier, you'll probably come out better than your normal routine!
Make sure you follow the clothing rules for yourself. Invest in a nice jogging outfit or two that fits loosely, and maybe some sandals you can kick off in the car. If you plan to go to Disneyland or somewhere that requires a lot of walking, skip the fashionable platforms that could make you twist your ankle and settle for some comfortable sneakers. Preferably some that have good insoles, or even airsoles. Remember the mantra "If Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" If you get in a bad mood, it's likely to rub off on the rest of the family. Babies are especially good at sensing tension, so try to keep things cool.
9. Remember that breadwinners may be a little stressed from all this togetherness with the kids. Whichever one spends the most time at work, whether Dad or Mom, may not be as familiar with the kids' quirks, and so they may be easily stressed when a kid is fussy or whiny. The primary caregiver should be understanding of this stress, and explain things calmly when possible. Moms, remember that even if this is your vacation, he may not be entirely capable if picking up your slack when you just don't feel like taking care of things. Dads, TRY ANYWAY! Your whole family will be much happier if you are both enjoying yourselves, instead of feeling like a pack mule/maid/nanny.
10. Have fun, but don't overdo it! Nothing is more boring to a kid than enforced hours in a car. If you have young children, try to plan for a vacation that centers in one area. If you are planning a driving vacation to see many sights across the country, try to wait until the kids are old enough to entertain themselves, and appreciate what you are showing them. A three-year-old won't care how many men it took to carve Mount Rushmore, all he cares about is that you won't let him pick up all the neat rocks. Try to go for age-appropriate activities, keep naps and bedtimes in mind when planning, and if your kid is about to have a meltdown, don't be afraid to take things off the to-do list. Trust me, those fun little side trips are no fun at all with a screaming kid in tow. And if they have had too much time in the car, and are wiggling like they've got fire ants in their pants, try having dinner at a McDonalds with a playland, or a Chuck E Cheese, instead of the sit-down at Olive Garden. Your dinner will be much more enjoyable if your children are happy too.
11. Safety first! Practically anywhere you go, there are strangers that might, just might, have ill intentions toward your family. If you are planning to go somewhere with young children that has lots of people crowding around you, make sure you can reach out and touch your child at all times. I hate to make anyone paranoid, but let's face it, there are sick people out there. If your child is the type that likes to see how far they can get away from you, invest in a double stroller, or buy one of those cute animal backpacks with a leash. Again, these can be purchased at nearly any store that carries baby products. Physical contact is the best preventative of kidnapping.
Just as scary as kidnapping is the safety of the places you are going. If you have all children under five, taking them to the biggest roller coaster in the park is probably a bad idea. If you want to ride the thrill rides, and your kids can't handle it, trade off with your spouse/partner. One of your rides while the other babysits, preferably in a place where the kids can be easily restrained. Make sure the kids get in on age-appropriate action as well. The Dumbo cars can usually hold most grown adults, so take your kids for rides. The carousel is usually okay for kids of all ages so long as a parent is with them. I have taken my babies on the carousel horses with me, and if you are properly strapped in, and have a good grip, they usually don't go fast enough to be dangerous. There are many rides and activities for young kids if you know where to look.
Another scary little caveat is theft. Leave your Gucci bag at home, and I don't care how stupid it looks, try for a fanny pack, neck wallet, or backpack instead. You can usually bring those on most rides, and if you have a fancy stroller that you are worried about being stolen, rent one from the park. Try to leave as many personal belongings in a safe place in the car or hotel as you can. If you have stuff you just have to have with you in the park, like medications, but you don't want to carry it, look for lockers. Many parks have lockers inside the gates that can be rented for a nominal fee. It saves you a trip out to the parking lot, but keeps your stuff safe from sticky fingers.
12. Now that I've scared you, get out there and have fun! Vacations with little children ARE possible if you plan it right, and avoid overloading them. They may not have many clear memories of what you did, but if the vacation is done right, the good feelings of fun and family time can last for a lifetime, and make them all the more eager for the next family trip.
Happy Traveling!