Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

It's beginning to look a lot like...fall. Still.

2011-12-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

Where is the snow already? C'mon, it's December, and my kids want to try out their new boots!
Yes, it's that time of year again. We've actually put up lights on the house, the only ones on our street so far. The girls are in love with them. The tree is up and gets plugged in every day. My kids have always loved lights of all kinds. They're "children of light". This was Jeff's first time putting up lights on a house exterior, and he did a great job. We weren't able to put up quite as many as I might like, because one, it has been too freakin' cold, and two, we're depending on the single outdoor circuit in the garage. The last thing we need is a wiring overload.
So, what else have we done? Well, most of the shopping is done. We were fortunate to attend a toy swap in Mom's stake, so the girls are covered. I just need to get it wrapped. I've gotten a few things for Jeff, mostly practical. I hope he likes them! I've been listening to Christmas music since July, and I'm just hoping I don't get sick of it before the big day.
We have a few other things coming up before then. One, I am getting a partial in place of my lower teeth. We haven't been able to afford crowns, and now there isn't enough left, so I'm just getting it over with and hoping that in the future we can afford implants. The other thing coming up is a certain two year olds birthday! Dang, I can't BELIEVE she is that old already! I have yet to figure out what to get her that the other two won't snitch. I don't think we'll have a big family party; I'm just too big and heavy right now, and number four is kicking the kee-rud out of me! Next year, hopefully, will be different.
It's amazing how much changes in a year. I plan to go in and get my thyroid tested after the pregnancy, see if that is part of the reason why I'm always so tired and cranky. I'd be willing to bet it's either that or the adrenals or both. I would love to have some energy for once, so I'm not always barking at the kids. Then, there is so much to be done around the house and yard. I'm grateful for winter this year simply because it means I can stop feeling guilty about not getting outside and getting stuff done!
So I guess it's time to start making my New Year's Resolutions. I might even get them posted, if I remember! Till then, I'll just be surviving the holiday season. I hope.
Merry Christmas, everybody, and I hope you truly do have a good New Year.

Time (okay, PAST time) for an update!

2011-11-09T11:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been nearly a year! And a lot has happened. As my only excuse, I've been pregnant (again) and sick as a dog, so blogging has been the LAST thing on my mind.
And, as usual, the girls are running rampant in the living room, so I'd better make this quick.
Jeff-still working at the same place, except it's not exactly the same place anymore. They bought another company, more than doubling their staff and their geographical coverage, so things are...well...downright INSANE. He is working his tail off, often has projects to finish when he gets home, so we're having to kind of ride the tsunami for the time being. Because of my pregnancy issues, he is back on dish duty...and the dishwasher died. Not a good time for this to happen!
Heather-pregnant and grumpy most of the time, sad to say. Jeff's Honda died at the beginning of the year, then Jeff totalled the van, then his sister lent us one, then we bought another cheap used van, then found out it had tranny problems and had to be rebuilt, then...mrrr. Yeah, this has been a difficult year. Still teaching jewelry classes, kind of gave up on Roberts for now because no one was interested. Going to approach that again after I have the baby and get some strength back.
Esther-getting so friggen' BIG! Kindergarten now, doing excellent, has good friends in class and a good teacher, and her speech is progressing wonderfully! Still has her long ringlets but her hair is getting darker. I don't think she'll maintain the light Calkin hair, I think she's going to be brunette like most of my family. Either way, she is drop-dead gorgeous...and knows it.
Taemarin-feisty, spunky, stubborn, willful...you know, all the things a self-respecting four year old should be! She is growing bigger too, though not as long and lanky as her sister. I think she's going to be our stocky athletic one. She is in preschool and doing well, I will have to miss her parent-teacher this week because of reports of pertussis in the school. I'm pregnant and paranoid!
Rebecca-our little Bekkers, nearly two and just as stubborn and independent minded as the rest! She wants SOOOO much to be like them, and be able to play with them, and it tends to get her in trouble when she gets involved and messes things up. We've moved her into a big girl bed, and so far, so good, she is still taking naps and does reasonably well at bedtime. Hope it lasts!
Number 4-Baby Debby, as she will be known, is kicking the crud out of me! She's due mid-Jan, and from all indications, she will be just as feisty as the others. Can't wait to see if we'll finally have a little carrot top!
Don't know how long it will be before I have time to post again, so I'll say it now. Happy Holidays to all y'all out there, and stay safe in this crazy, messed up world!

It's a New Year

2011-01-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

It's a new year, and it's time to get back on the wagon. I fell off, gained back all the weight and then some (darn Christmas candy!), so now I need to get back to losing the weight.
I'm still using Calorie Count, they've updated their site with a bunch of new food items so I don't have to hand enter everything. It's a great tool, so all I have to do is get used to my diet again, then ease into a workout routine.
That, along with my jewelry classes, my calling (we have a funeral this week to prepare for. Fun, huh?), taking care of the kids, the house, and attempting to work on the second draft of my trilogy. I think I need an extra 12 hours a day!
Well, time to get at it! I am also trying to limit the time I spend on the computer, I've had blurry vision lately, I think I need a break! So gonna break out the beads now and work on another project. This is gonna be fun!

Faster....and slower

2010-11-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

Phew! I don't have much time, I have mischief loose in the living room. But I just thought I'd lay out a quick review of how much is going on right now!
Jeff-busy as heck at work, and contemplating how long he can get away with driving on regular tires before snow flies. Oh yeah, that's this afternoon! Hope he makes it okay. He's a little under the weather these days, but I'm hoping to fix that with some chicken soup and green tea.
Esther-loving preschool, growing like a weed, and gorgeous as always! Her curly hair always attracts attention, and YES, it is totally natural! No curlers involved!
Taemarin-Turns THREE today!!! Yup, she's actually three years old! We had her party on Saturday, so I don't plan to confuse the issue by bringing it up to her today, but it just boggles my mind. We have her signed up to be tested for preschool, we're just waiting for them to call us for an appointment. I'm hoping to get her into the same place as Esther, then they can ride the bus together.
Becky-OH SO CLOSE!! She is so close to walking now, it's crazy! She can stand independently, but she is just a little too nervous to take that first step. Her blue eyes are so pretty, just like her sisters, and in daylight they just draw you in and melt you into a little puddle!
Heather-holy cow, where do I begin?? Farmer's Market is over for the season. The weather is just too nasty to even think about continuing! However, I have replaced it with two new loves. Etsy, and a teaching gig at Robert's Arts and Crafts in Provo. Yup, I'm a bona fide instructor now! Friday nights, you can sign up on my other blog. I'm actually doing a demo today in-store to show off what projects we'll be working on this month. I have a fall one, and a Christmas one. Mom is coming to watch the kids for me so I don't have them tearing the store apart. (Thanks Mom!) In February, I will have another teaching job as a UVU community education instructor, again, teaching Jewelry. That will be on Tuesday nights.
Every day is a new surprise for us. It's astonishing to me how time seems to just drag during the long, dark, cold days. (I have seasonal depression issues). But then the end of the week comes, when Jeff is home, and I look back and ask "where has the time gone???" Time flies when you're having fun, and if I'm not careful, it will all fly away, my kids will be grown, and I'll be wondering what the heck I did with my life!

The Garden...on the other end of the Year

2010-08-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Wow. Y'know, I outta set my browser to auto-sign in my blog. Then maybe I'd update once in a while!
So much has happened. I don't have much time, but here's a few things. I started a diet, fell off the wagon for a couple months during summer when it was too hot to work out, now I'm trying to get back on. Becky is getting so freakin' big, I can't believe she used to be this teeny newborn, now she's crawling all over and just barely starting to pull herself up on stuff!
The garden is, well, doing okay, I guess. I'm having a hard time actually eating all the stuff that comes out of it, I planted a bit too much, I guess! My peas are doing well, Esther's pumpkin plants are doing freakin' AWESOME, and the tomatoes are kinda touch and go. Funnily enough, the romas are larger than the slicing tomatoes. I think someone must have swapped the tags in the store! The one plant that is doing the best is our cherry tomato. I have no problem with endorsing this time, BONNIE ROCKS! The other tomatoes were your basic six pack with no brand on them, the cherry was a single Bonnie plant, and it is HAPPEEEEEEE.
Well, other than that, we've actually started the process of sorting and cleaning out the bins in the garage. Not just rearranging them, we're actually getting rid of stuff now! I went through probably fifteen or so bins and boxes, and by the time I was done, I had consolidated or eliminated enough stuff to have eight empty bins, and that includes one of the big ones.
Let's see...Esther starts school in a couple of weeks, later than everyone else. I don't know why they hold the preschool back, but oh well. It's not soon enough for either of us, she asks me to go to school every freakin' day! Taea will be tested after her third birthday, I think I'll pay for it if she doesn't qualify, she could use some interaction with qualified instructors who have more patience than me!
Jeff is a manager at work now, and they are busier than ever. They lost two of their guys to school and a move to Texas, so he's going crazy trying to keep stuff running. Hopefully things will smooth out in a few weeks so he doesn't have a friggen' heart attack.
Well, other than that, just waiting for fall so I can get outside more without getting fried and get stuff done. I'm looking forward to all the holidays that I can do stuff with the girls on, Esther is old enough to do some crafts independently, and I think she'll love it. I will honestly try to update more often, especially as I go back on this darn diet. Venting once in a while will help, I'm sure!

Being Sick Sucks

2010-02-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Being sick sucks.
It's especially hard to keep a good attitude. This time around, I was attacked on multiple fronts, and was taking Tamiflu, Amoxicillin, Cipro ear drops, eye drops, and copious amounts of Dayquil all at once.
Yeah. I hate being sick.
Well, now I'm down to the Amox and ear drops, I have infections in both ears, and the left one actually ruptured. I have new appreciation for Esther's difficulties now that I know what she has gone through being mostly deaf in one ear. It wasn't fun in the slightest. I still have partial hearing loss, and it's hard because I sound loud to me, but everyone else says I talk too quiet, and I can't hear them either. It's frustrating, and aggravating, and exasperating and......well, you get the point.
Anyway, I am looking forward to spring. I already have some bulbs popping up in the backyard. Iris, mostly, and I know there are some peonies in that area. I neglected to rake up all the leaves off the iris last fall, so some of the rhizomes have risen to the surface, I'll have to replant them, but at least they survived!
Then there is my veggie garden. Now that I'm not pregnant, I am really looking forward to some quality time with peas, tomatoes, potatoes, spinach, pumpkin......mmmmmmmmmm. The girls especially love peas and cucumbers, most of my peas last year went straight to them!
I have rosebushes to rescue, vines to train around the front yard, a lattice to bolt to the front porch, and lots of other stuff to do. Now if the weather would just make up its mind, I might get some of this done!
Then there's the stuff inside. We have taken serious looks at moving to Eagle Mountain, right down to picking the house style we like best. It's just barely out of our reach, loan-qual wise, but we're so close. If we could just get this place sold without taking a loss, we could get the house we want. Unfortunately, with the kitchen being a 40s-style nightmare, and the bathroom not much better, we're going to have a hard time selling.
Well, so now you know what my spring looks like. Assuming I stop being sick.
Sigh. I hate being sick.

Good Riddance 2009!

2010-01-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

Well, the year is over. THANK GOODNESS! Yes, there were some good things about the year, such as a new addition to our family, but there was a lot of not-so-good. 2009 decided to take a parting shot at us in the last week. Taea was in the hospital.
Yup. My little snuggle bug caught some kind of horrid virus that dehydrated her in about 24 hours, so we ended up in the emergency room, where the doctor decided to keep her overnight. Thank goodness Jeff had a couple days of PTO left, he took the first night, and I took the second. Thankfully, she is much better now, though she is wont to be fussy and argumentative. I guess after having life turned upside-down for a while, she is trying to reestablish her boundaries.
Becky is doing well, she regained her birth weight and then some by her two-week checkup. Whee! She is developing so well, already tracking objects with her eyes, and being VERY clingy.
Esther is going back to school after the holiday today. I'm sure she'll be happy about it, but I pity her poor teacher. Trying to get kids settled down after a long holiday is never an easy task!
Sigh. So on to a new year. I have so many goals, so many things I want to accomplish, but I don't know if I will have time for it all. Prioritize, I know, but so many of the things are worthy goals, it's hard to decide what is most important.
Well, I guess the only thing to do is dig in and hope it works out for the best. And hope I survive the melee!

The End...and The Beginning

2009-12-17T11:37:00.001-08:00

Well, the pregnancy is finally over! All the puking, the waddling, the loose, sore hips, screaming bladder...it's all done.
It was a good ending. About 3 and 1/2 hours, culminating in three sets of three pushes, and there she was.
Yup. It's a girl.
A new beginning. So far, her sisters just seem a little perplexed. Only mildly curious. But then, little Rebecca has been a pretty quiet, content baby. Sleeps well, eats well, except she utterly refuses to even try to nurse. Not a big deal, I have no supply anyway. I tried a professional hospital pump, I worked with a nurse and the baby for half an hour...nothing. Baby wouldn't latch, not even to a plastic shaper. Nada.
Stress isn't good for anyone. Especially when you're recovering from childbirth. So...I gave up. It's not the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Formulas are good these days, and the thing about kids getting sick more easily if they aren't breastfed isn't always true. My kids have been anything BUT sickly! They are growing well, and except for Esther's speech problem, they're developing fine. My mom had the same issue, her kids grew up fine...so I am not going to fret about it. There is no point. I have no choice.
Anyway, all that aside, our new little bundle is cute as a button. She has slightly more hair than the others, and it looks like it will probably be blond or slightly strawberry, just like the rest of us. I'm wondering if any of our kids will be redheads like their grandma, but if not, that's okay.
She was seven pounds fifteen, nineteen and a half inches. Right there in the middle size-wise with her sisters. Baby gray-blue eyes, no idea what color they will be in the future. She is a little love-bug, likes to snuggle. It will be so fun to see what her personality will be like as she matures, if she is strong willed like Esther, or REALLY strong willed like Taea!
I am glad to have my body back (sorta). Now, let the fun begin!

Prepping for Baby

2009-11-18T16:23:00.000-08:00

How the heck do women survive this last month?
Yes, I've done it twice before. However, for whatever reason, I am carrying this one more...forward than the other two. More hip and back problems too. I know my body is supposed to do this kind of stuff to get ready, so I'm not trying to shove a baby through a hole the size of a garbanzo bean, but still, it's hard!
I have so much to do to get ready for the baby, and yet my body doesn't want to cooperate! How do women survive this last month and get everything done in time? So far she has a place to sleep, we have the cute outfit we're bringing her home in (designed to make her look like a Christmas gift), and I have a vague idea of where the diaper bag is. Oh, and yes, we have two cases of diapers.
That's it so far.
Sheesh, I was ready MONTHS in advance for the other two! Of course, at that time, I was living in an entirely different place so I pretty much kept everything in the nursery anyway, since there was nowhere else to store it. Now that we're in our own home, a lot of that got shunted out to the garage. Here was me thinking I was going to have a boy, so the bin of girls clothes is....somewhere in the vicinity of the house. The garage, most likely.
Double sigh.
I'll get it done. Somehow. We have bought a few new things, so the kid won't be naked, I still have the bottles out since my older two are just NOW going to no bottles at all (that's another story, but yes, we're bottle-breaking finally, and they are not happy in the slightest), and I have the bassinet set up. I have blankets, the small chest of drawers has been cleared out for her with a new, big one set up for Esther and Taea...I guess I'm not doing too bad.
But still, there is so much to be done for babies! So much to prepare. And if you have an older home that is less than...well, quiet, there's a lot of other stuff that you wouldn't think of. Our bedroom door sticks and doesn't want to close properly. At times, it has gotten completely stuck. This is the room the baby will be sleeping in. DEFINITELY needs to be fixed.
The floor squeaks badly, especially at night. If I have to walk across the kitchen five times a night for bottle prep (sigh, yes I will try to breast-feed but we all know how successful THAT has been) then I run the risk of waking up the older girls. Five times a night. Gotta get that fixed too.
We have a new car-seat/stroller set. It's just still in its box. In the garage. With everything else.
I need to get the baby swing reassembled, set up the play yard so I can leave the room occasionally without worrying about Taea squashing her baby sister, clean out the extra junk in the living room so I don't have to worry about it getting knocked over on top of her. Lots of baby proofing.
And some of you are asking "why haven't you done this before?"
To which I answer "have you ever tried to clean boxes and bins out of a living room, while pregnant and sick, with two toddlers underfoot?"
So now that I'm REALLY pregnant, I get to do it anyway! Oh joy! Sigh. Yeah, I'm a procrastinator.
But it will get done. Somehow. Because baby is coming, whether Mommy is ready or not.

Have you hugged yourself today?

2009-10-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, folks, it's Monday!
And you know what that means.
Yeah, usually, it's a rough day. Take each day's allotment of frustration and roll it into one day, and you have Monday.
So what are we going to do about it?
First of all, we are not going to stress. Things will go wrong, things won't get done that need to be, and kids will drive us utterly bananas because they're back to routine after the weekend. But we won't stress about it.
Moms come in for an awful lot of guilt. Your kid falls and gets hurt during two seconds of diverted attention, you feel horrible. Never mind that you already told him fifteen times not to climb on the back of the couch. He still did it, and he got hurt, and now he's giving you that look that says "Mommy, why did you let me get hurt?"
Don't do it! Don't give in! Yes, he needs attention, but make it a teaching moment. Make sure he understands that if he had listened, he wouldn't be hurt now. Kids seem to prefer the school of hard knocks for some reason, but that is no reason for us to amp up our guilt levels.
Your first grader came home from school crying because she didn't have her costume for the dress-rehearsal of the school pageant. Your guilt SOARS. Did she bother to tell you she needed one? Nope. You didn't even know the school was having a play, but she insists it is your fault because you're a mommy, you are supposed to know things like this. Oh, and the school hasn't updated it's calendar for the last six months, but still...you're omniscient, didn't you know that??
Yeah, sounds absurd. But it happens. All the time.
Don't let it get to you. Things go wrong. You have to go through the bad in order to appreciate the good! If life were nothing but easy and peaceful...how would we know? We have to have hard and chaotic to appreciate the good moments.
So today, instead of dialing your therapist for yet another session of "I'm such a bad mother", try a bit of free therapy. Hug yourself. Once, twice, however many times you need it. Give yourself a big hug, look into a mirror (ignoring the toothpaste splotches you haven't cleaned yet) and tell yourself what a wonderful person you are.
Because you ARE!
People are so depressed these days. Granted, a lot of it is for legitimate medical reasons. Been there, I know, and in fact I'm suspecting I still have an issue. Not in my brain, but elsewhere. I think somewhere else in my system is haywire, and that's depressing everything else. If you really wanna know more, look up "adrenal insufficiency" and see if that describes you!
But there is a lot of depression that could be solved if we just lightened up on ourselves. Society has put a huge burden on us to be thin, beautiful, and totally competent while maintaining a gorgeous home. I'm a self-described HGTV/DIY network junkie, and I've noticed that every time I watch one of the high-end makeovers, it depresses me. You know the kind. The ones where the designers have a five figure budget just to make over a guest room? Sheesh, if I had that kind of money, my family would be on their way to Disneyland about now!
But it kinda makes you feel inadequate. My living room is best described as secondhand toddleresque eclectic. Basically, it's full of hand-me-down furniture that is already worn enough, I don't really care if the kids finally destroy it. But it is so EMBARRASSING! Especially when the donor of said furniture drops by, and you feel like sinking into the floor because of its condition.
Okay, enough! No stressing today! Yeah, I do it too. Time for another hug.
On days you know you're going to be stressed, make a point of doing something for yourself, and don't feel guilty about it. Have a sort of touch point, a link to how you feel when you feel awesome about yourself. Not a hugger? Give your mirror a high-five, and LEAVE THE HANDPRINT! Heck, make a collection of handprints, count them at the end of the day to remind you just how awesome you are, and THEN you can clean it off. If that doesn't work, buy a small cache of treats, hide it away well, and when you need a pick-me-up, grab a treat and say "I deserve every calorie!" If you're on a diet...well, go for sugar free! They make some good ones these days.
You get the idea. It's time to stop letting ourselves be ruled by Monday, whether it's on Monday, Tuesday, Saturday, whatever. Time to just let things be.
Give yourself a hug. And while you're at it...the next time your kid comes at you with uber sticky hands and chocolate all over his face, let him hug you anyway. That's what stain treaters are for.

TGIF...now what?

2009-10-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Meh. Blah. So uninspired today.
You gasp in disbelief. But...it's Friday! you protest.
Yeah, so?
It's the weekend! You should have plans to do all kinds of stuff!
Uh-huh. That's the problem. I have TOO MANY plans. Where in the world do you start? It's all stuff worthy of completion. The garden needs to be cleaned out, the garage wiring needs to be done, I've got weeds to pull, a stone path to install in the front yard, endless housework to do. How does one choose? There is no way I can get it all done. Not in my present state. And yet, it all needs to be done.
Yes, Jeff will likely be doing most of the heavy work. But even after he gets that done, there is more to do. It would be nice to have a weekend where we don't have anything to do. That never comes. I suppose, some time this winter we may have a day where we are snowed in and therefore have just house stuff to do, but there is a lot of that too. Besides house cleaning, there's wiring and repairs inside to do as well. We still have old light fixtures and wiring in the ceiling that are just blazes waiting to flare up. I swear we must have guardian angels keeping the house from going up in flames. Getting into the attic is the fun part. The opening is small, and it is stuffed full of blown insulation.
I don't like to make excuses for why things don't get done. But sometimes...you look around at everything that NEEDS to be done, and it just defeats you. How the heck do you find a starting point? And when you get to the end of the day, how do you choose a stopping point? You see "just a few more things" that need to be done, and before you know it, it's midnight and you're so tired you can't even see straight. You're useless the next day because you overdid it.
So what's the answer?
Haven't a clue. I guess, this weekend, maybe I'll find it.

Looking at the Bright Side...With New Sunglasses!

2009-10-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Sigh. We knew it had to be done. We knew the time was coming. And it came a lot more swiftly than either of us would have liked.
I'm sitting in the living room, babies are in bed, and Jeff walks in with his glasses in his hands. "I am not happy right now," he says. I look up, and he hands me his glasses, with one lens popped out. Easy enough, I think, just pop it back...
The frames were snapped.
He had been having problems with them not sitting properly on his face. That's what happens when curious toddlers are constantly trying to bend them out of shape. So after his shower, he was trying to bend them back INTO shape. They broke. In this case, it wasn't a simple matter of the nosepiece breaking in half. Nope. Instead, the frame of the right lens had snapped away from the nosepiece, which is a 90 degree angle. Not something you can discreetly wrap with tape.
The first thing I think of is crazy glue. Well, he has to have glasses, or he can't go to work! He's bat-blind without them! His only other pair are sunglasses, which he really doesn't wear as often as he should, but I'd rather they not be his only pair. People might think he really IS blind.
I check the desk. No crazy glue. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any in the house for a couple of years. Then I remember my bead fixative. That stuff is just about as strong as crazy glue. I should know, I actually glued my fingers together when I first tried it. So I go pull out a new bottle, cut off the tip, and try to apply it.
Nuts. Too old. It dried up in the bottle. I check my old bottle. Same thing.
Drat. Double drat. NOW what?
I'm desperate. So I try seam glue. Those of you that have used it know what I'm talking about. It's a kind of clearish stuff, resembling crazy glue, that you place along a seam of fragile fabric to keep it from fraying.
It's not crazy glue. So I try scotch tape. It looks terrible.
I am so ready to give up. I head back into the living room, and tell him I tried the seam glue, but it's not working, so I taped it. He's more or less resigned to it. He heads for bed, I go back to turn off the office light.
Of course!
Sitting in my tool basket is a tool I haven't even opened yet. A mini hot-glue gun. The tip is small enough to allow for delicate detail work. Lessee, a gun...and about a hundred sticks of glue. Yeah, that should be enough.
I plug it in and wait for it to heat up, examining the break as I do so. It isn't a clean straight break, it's slightly jagged, so I fight with the glasses and get it arranged properly, tightly as possible to hold in the lens.
I apply the glue, leaving about a lentil-sized blob, and hold it, blowing on it to cool it more quickly. I wait, and wait...I look around for a rubber band, then decide to just test it. Tentatively, I let go.
It holds.
EUREKA!
I wrap the rubber band around it anyway, to hold it overnight and allow it to cure. The glue blob is apparent up close, but far away, you don't really notice unless you look for it.
I go in to bed, where Jeff asks where in the world I've been. Apparently, he didn't notice me working in the kitchen. I tell him what I did, and warn him it may or may not hold.
The next morning, he makes an appointment at the glasses shop. One of those one-hour or less places. The tab is staggering. He buys two pair--one regular, one sunglasses--with "flexible" frames and no-glare lenses. Good idea, he stares at a computer all day. Over six hundred dollars.
Eesh.
It would have been cheaper had we gone somewhere else, but...while the repair had miraculously held throughout the day, the lens still kept popping out. The more he shoved it back in, the more it would strain the repair. So we had little choice.
At least now he has better glasses, with a double bar across the nosepiece instead of single, so the girls can't twist it to pieces again. It looks...different. Different color, too. But they are similar enough to the glasses he had years ago, it's not hard to get used to.
As for the old glasses, I hate to throw them out. His prescription has changed, but not immensely. In a pinch, they might be useful. So after examining them, we've decided to take the lenses out of his old sunglasses, which have identical frames, and put the regular lenses in those frames.
Why I didn't think of that the night before, I have no idea.
Still, at least he didn't have to miss oodles of work because of broken glasses. They were expensive, but fortunately, we actually had a little savings this month. We could whine and complain that we had other, more fun uses for that. But the fact of the matter is that he has needed new glasses, and this was a good time to get them. We were blessed to have the money when we needed it.
Next up? Lasik!

I Am NOT a Morning Person

2009-09-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Not in the slightest. I love the beauty of a sunrise, but I'm just as apt to hit the sack again afterward as to actually start the day. I've always been a night owl, despite multiple attempts to change my schedule around. I just do better in the afternoon and at night.
My kids, on the other hand, are usually awake by seven-thirty. I know, there are moms right now looking at the screen and laughing at me because they're up by dawn, but when you're up till midnight or thereabouts the night before, it can really drag on you! Especially since we're STILL bottle-breaking, and these two wake up once or twice a night, SCREAMING, and won't go back to sleep without us getting up to comfort them. It's so...frustrating.
Well, so far, I've just about gotten them bottle-broken during the day. Cups only, though Esther refuses to drink milk from a cup. I try to make sure she gets her vitamins so she doesn't lose out on calcium.
Anyway, this kind of crazy schedule means that more often than not, one of us ends up waking up on the wrong side of the bed. With my hormones going whacko, it's usually me! It is so hard not to be grumpy, but what does one do about it? I'm NOT going to take depression meds, not with the horror stories I've heard. And besides, I tried them before and ended up borderline suicidal. No thank you.
I guess I just have to tough it. As tired and cranky as I am, I have to remember not to take it out on the kids. It's not their fault that I got so wasted from morning sickness. I still have to be there to be Mommy. Esther tries so hard to be my shadow, my little sidekick. Today she even "helped" me sort stuff off the desk. I hand it to her, she sticks it in the bin I name. And she loves it. I guess I should nurture her helpfulness before she becomes a teenager!
But it still wears on me. Her speech is clearing up more and more, and she is a chatterbox, but when I'm grumpy all I want to do is sit and be left alone. Talk about a personality clash!
I don't have any sage advice for this one. I haven't a clue what to do except to tough it out until the pregnancy is over, then find a solution. Right in time for SADD! Oh yay! Oh, I so hope I don't get serious postpartum. Eesh. Any ideas on this one?

Life is what happens when you try to plan...

2009-09-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Saturday. Jeff and I had been talking all day Friday about what we wanted to get done. I have even posted a list of Fall things-to-do-before-it-snows. We were looking at doing some rearranging and organizing in the kitchen, which would be difficult because there is only so much I can help Jeff move, it's all too heavy in my present condition.
So I get up Saturday morning and decide to fold some laundry that was sitting in the basket for a few days. Jeff had been feeling kinda punky on Friday, so we were modifying plans and deciding to just clean instead of moving things around.
Then it hit me. Like a brick wall.
I was just standing there, folding stuff, and I starting to feel weak and clammy. Not an unfamiliar feeling, I've had mild hypoglycemic problems all my life. But this was bad enough that after a minute, I sat down quickly onto our bed, and called Jeff in to ask if I was pale. Yeah, I was. I felt like I was going to pass out if I so much as stood up again. After a few minutes, I mustered enough strength to fold the few remaining items in the basket, then I went and collapsed into my dish chair in the living room.
I drank a bunch of milk, and waited to feel better. It wasn't happening. What was worse, Jeff was sick and weak too, so we started to wonder if it was flu or something. Not good. Both of us down, with two active toddlers, is a recipe for disaster. But until I knew what was wrong, I didn't dare call for help when it might just make someone else sick.
Then, stage 2. Not vomiting. The other end.
Food poisoning.
No, we didn't get an official diagnosis, but that is sure what it felt like. We were weak, sick to our stomachs, did NOT feel like eating AT ALL, which for me is hard with the baby. I can't just skip meals when I feel like it. We were in the bathroom constantly, and we only have one, so that was fun.
There went our plans for the day.
Sigh. Well, I guess I can be grateful for one thing. It hit on the weekend, so Jeff won't likely miss any work. We are saving all of his PTO for the birth, his company has no paternity leave, so he would have to take time unpaid. We can't afford that.
Let's hope we'll all better by tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I have an OB appointment tomorrow as well, so I have to try to be better for that. I will have to find a babysitter though, I do not think I have the strength to drag two toddlers to an office that has a reputation for being snail-slow.
So much for the weekend. Oh well.

Of cribs and diapers and sleeping in...

2009-09-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. We slept in this morning. And paid for it.
Well, two of us did. Esther always bounces out of bed by eight or so, comes in and sticks her face right in mine and says "Wake up, Mommy!" This morning, because Taea was up late last night for no reason other than that she couldn't sleep, Taea was still out. So I got up, settled Esther in front of Noggin with milk and cereal after changing her diaper, then I went and crashed again. My bedroom door is right by the TV, so i can hear if Esther has a problem, I wasn't worried about it. Esther came in a few more times to try to drag me out of bed, but I just rolled over and ignored her. (I'm such a mean mommy, I know).
Then, around nine-thirty, Taea woke up. Screaming.
I kinda figured what I would find when I went in to get her. I thought she and the crib would be soaked. I was half wrong.
Her diaper had exploded out the back.
I immediately laid out a towel on the changing table, got her wiped off as best I could and plopped her in the tub. After a quick scrub and a fresh diaper, she was her usual smiley congenial self, so I gave her a cup of milk (working on bottle breaking still, only doing bottles at night now, yay!), and headed back in to do battle with the crib. I dumped everything onto the soiled sheet, gathered it up, and dropped it on the washer. I took some sanitizer wipes and cleaned up everything that hadn't hit the sheets, buried the plastic mattress in sanitizer spray, and put on a new sheet.
Y'know what's actually good about the whole thing? I had the energy to do it! So sleeping in ain't all bad. If I had gotten up earlier, I probably wouldn't have had such a mess because Taea would have been changed sooner. But then I'd be exhausted through the whole day.
So how the heck does one decide?
I think a lot of it has to do with your body's own signals. It is a good thing to listen to your body, particularly when you're sick. You keep thinking "I should get all this done now or I'll regret it later," but then you never get to rest. It never ends! There is no such thing as "done". So when you have absolutely hit your limit, you have to stop, or your body will start to fall apart, and then you'll REALLY have regrets! It's hard for Mommy to care for everyone else when she has nothing left to give.
Do I regret sleeping in? Naw. Do I want those hours back when I could get more done? Well, maybe, but if I hadn't slept in and tried to get stuff done while exhausted, I probably would have been moving slower and making more mistakes anyway!
Balance, people! It's all about balance!
Just make sure you have plenty of wipes.

Crazy Firsts (and Hopefully Lasts!)

2009-09-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Y'know, I can't remember ever, in my lifetime, having to mop a ceiling.
Well, I guess technically it was more like sweeping, because I used a broom, but it had a towel wrapped over it.
But still, it's not what I wanted to wake up to. There are so much easier ways to clean cobwebs.
And no, that was not the reason. Taea was having a very hard time breathing last night. So much that Jeff decided to plug in our warm-air humidifier. This morning, when I went to change Esther's diaper, she pointed to the ceiling and said something about stars.
They don't have stars on their ceiling.
I looked up, and sparkling like stars on the ceiling was a bunch of water droplets. The light fixture had a small puddle in the light cover. The window was soaked.
Ack!
So I finished changing her, grabbed the broom and a couple of towels, and mopped the ceiling. Esther was highly entertained. It didn't even get all the moisture, it just got the worst of it. I opened the window to vent out the room, and chalked it up to a learning experience. Next time, we crack the window.
This was after I spent all night dreaming I was in some weird castle that was supposed to be Hogwarts, but definitely WASN'T, being chased by Voldemort. Only in this case, Voldemort more closely resembled Emperor Palpatine. I haven't even WATCHED those movies in months! This pregnancy is screwing with my head.
All in all, not the way I wanted to start my day. I think I'll take it as a sign of stress and just relax today. We're still dealing with summer heat, and it's wearing me down. Supposedly we're supposed to have rain this weekend, but that's what they said last weekend, and it didn't happen. I'm not holding my breath, though I could certainly use the cleaner air!
Anyway, that's how my day has gone so far. Hope yours is going better.

Post "Party" Syndrome

2009-09-08T12:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah, we didn't spend the weekend partying. Instead, we spent most of it working. We did get some vegging in, Sunday we rested most of the day after church, and Monday we spent some time relaxing after a trip to Home Depot to get some stone for the front yard.
But otherwise, we worked our tails off!
It is great, really, to have the stuff done that we did. Granted, none of the projects we worked on are completely "done", but we made great progress. The girls closet is cleaned out, their drawers are organized, I pulled out all the too-small stuff and made room for the newborn stuff we'll need for Rebecca. Their room is the cleanest, most organized in the house. We also pulled out a few bins of stuff that shouldn't have been in there in the first place.
However, we're not done. Esther has a platform bed with a large void under the right side. We've been using that to store boxes of...stuff. Not sure what is in there, that will have to be done before we can claim to be done. But since I don't have anywhere to put anything, I think it can wait.
We got a bunch of stuff picked up in the kitchen. It is so sad to me when I consider that we have a nice, clean kitchen, all the pots and pans are washed...and tonight it will all be dirty again. Ergh. Oh well, it's either that or we starve!
We organized a bunch of stuff in the basement, too. You know how it goes. You come home from a caseload sale with a bunch of stuff, you get downstairs, one of the kids starts yelling, you drop the stuff on the floor with a promise to organize it later, and then you promptly forget about it. Well, we got it organized, evicted some bins and boxes to the garage, and now I can actually reach the food down there. Yay, let the cooking experiments begin! Well, actually, continue. I've been working on it for a few weeks.
So, with all of that, and laundry, I'm tired. Very tired. But it's a good tired. I have a bit more room in here, I can see what else needs to be done to get ready for baby, and everyday items are a bit easier.
Did we get everything done that we wanted to? No. Did we get the one day of work and the one day to party that we wanted? No. With a sick kid, going somewhere probably wouldn't have been a good idea anyway. But we got stuff done. Sometimes, that's all it takes to improve your mood. You accomplished something. CELEBRATE IT! Don't dwell on what you did not get done! Focus on the fact that everything you accomplished makes it easier to get your remaining projects done. I'm thinking of the fact that I have two empty bins available now, through some strategic merging of partially full ones, to clean my office.
Now I just have to do it. Wish me luck! Time to accomplish!!!

Balance

2009-09-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Y'know, we have a three day weekend coming up.
I asked my hubby if he has that day off. He answered yes, and then asked if I had a bunch of stuff planned.
Truthfully? No.
My honey-do list is fifty miles long, thanks in part to the pregnancy. I just can't do as much as I used to, not so much because of my baby bump, but because of the sheer exhaustion and muscle wasting from being sick so long. I can't BELIEVE what a wuss I've become!
Then, also, it would not be fair to take up a rare vacation day with nothing but work. He has worked so hard, he needs a day for some fun. We may have a rainy day that day, but still...
However, it would also not be fair to just play the whole weekend. I mean, c'mon, if it doesn't get done now, it will just get shunted to some other weekend, and the longer we delay, the more frantic and stressed we'll be. We have to do SOMETHING.
So where do you strike the balance? Obviously, we're not working on Sunday. That's the Lord's day. Neither are we going off to play that day. That isn't right either. So we have Saturday, and Monday.
Well, the obvious choice to me is to get starting on the work Friday evening, finish it off Saturday, and then play on Monday. But what if that doesn't work out? What if it rains? Taea and I are already sick, too, what if he get sick by Monday and we spend all day lying around miserable?
Ah, decisions, decisions.
I guess that's just the chance we take. We have to make a list, and make sure we get the items of highest priority done. What is surprising is that those items may not be the obvious ones. You'd think that getting the house spic-and-span would be top priority. Granted, we need to make sure the basics are taken care of, like dishes and laundry. But then, there's the clutter all over the house. And with two kids, any mess that is cleaned up is re-created in five minutes or less.
So...what to do with them? Send them outside? Natch, that's an obvious answer for most homes. Unfortunately, our yard is not fully fenced. The perimeter has an okay fence, half chain-link, and half chicken wire. The wings, however, (the distance from the sides of the house to the property line) have no fence. Ours is one of the older homes on a narrow lot where the driveway runs all the way to the garage in the back. So the driveway and the other side yard are both wide open.
Okay. So there is a priority. In order to make our lives easier in other areas, let's fence off those two sides!
Fencing a driveway properly is no easy task, but when you're trying to contain a couple of energetic toddlers rather than a full-grown Great Dane, it's not as hard as it could be. We're not putting in a full 6-foot fence. Not yet, anyway. We bought two three-by-eight picket panels, which we will hinge and hang on 4-foot pressure treated posts. To keep them from sagging, we bought some gate wire kits. The kind that run from the top hinge corner to the bottom inside corner and keep it more or less square. If that is not enough, we'll attach wheels to the bottom. That will allow us to keep the full opening of the driveway, and yet we can keep the girls in the back.
Whew! Problem solved. And that will also allow us to do more without worrying about them getting out.
Funny, isn't it? How you think one thing is of such great priority, and yet you can't get very far on it because of a complication. The answer is often staring you in the face. Solve the lesser problem first, and that paves the way for an answer to the biggest problem.
Will having a fence instantly make it a breeze to do all my work? No. My kids are not cattle, I cannot just send them out for the day and expect them to stay out of trouble. But at least now I can weed and prune and work without worrying about them escaping. Jeff and I can clean the garage without constantly asking "where's Taea?", "Is Esther in front?", "where are the girls?"
Next year, I will have three to chase. I get the fence in now, instead of later, and save myself some hassle.
Balance. Consider your priorities. What are the problems you face? Would solving a lesser problem help solve a greater problem? Would signing your kids up for school lunch actually be cheaper than sending them with one, because you won't have to buy baggies, and pre-packaged drinks, etc, thus helping your family budget?
Are you wasting money every year tossing clothes that get damaged because you don't know how to sew? "But I don't have time for that!" you might say. It's not as hard as you think. And besides, what is quicker-spending five minutes doing up a popped seam, or spending two hours with your teenage daughter trying to replace that one-of-a-kind shirt because she refuses to wear anything else?
Lost weight lately? How much would you save if you could take in your skirts instead of buying a new wardrobe?
That is just one example! Balance your life! Try to find the areas where taking just a little time learning a skill will save you oodles of time and money in the future.
However, balance also includes taking time out to rest. We're human. We get tired. We can't just keep going constantly. In this recession, how much have we heard about taking a stay-cation instead of going somewhere new? Depending on where you live, chances are, you have some fantastic attractions within reasonable driving distance of home. Just make sure that if you plan a stay-cation, you STICK TO THE PLAN! Don't make a plan of going hiking in the local state park, and then the next day to the water park, and then a day museum-hopping, just to wake up the day of the vacation and dig into those storage boxes you've been meaning to sort. If you plan to relax, stick with the plan.
Is it wrong to work during a stay-cation? No, not really. Not if you plan for it. If you're planning on playing for most of the stay-cation, but reserve the last Saturday for that backyard patio you've been meaning for three years to put in, fine. Just make sure you don't wait until Saturday to get your measurements, and the materials, and rent the equipment, etc. Get all your plans in order BEFORE the work day, and it will go more smoothly.
Balance takes planning, but it also takes flexibility. Have a plan B in case that state park hike is washed out. Try a roller-skating rink, or go to an indoor pool. Go restaurant hopping, where you have a different course in each restaurant.
Try to find the balance you need in your life, and I think you'll find things going much smoother. Does that mean that if you plan everything, you'll have no problems? Not a chance! Life has lots of problems. A sign of good balance is that you're able to handle those problems without having to pop a pill, or spend the day in a mental institution. The whole trick of it is making sure that in your planning, you include ALL needs, not just the obvious ones. And make sure you prioritize properly. If you are stressed out, and it is really the niggling little problems that bother you more than the big ones, solve them first. They tell you in a disaster that if you have minor injuries, treat them before helping others. Why? Because they don't want those minor problems to turn into major ones! How dumb would you feel if you ignored a bleeding cut, and ended up being one that needed a stretcher because you nearly bled to death?
Find your balance! Make a plan! And try to have some fun on the way!

Another day, another.....what?

2009-08-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Y'know, I think that is actually one of the biggest problems as SAHM has. Sheer boredom. Yeah, we may work our tails off all day cleaning, changing diapers, cleaning some more, feeding kids, playing with kids, and just generally taking care of the house, but how mentally challenging is all that? Yes, yes, I know my kids will get old enough to start asking the tough questions, and that will be pretty challenging, but right now, while I am pregnant and have NO energy at all, it's hard to keep myself from falling asleep mentally.
I spend some time on the Net, obviously. Blogging helps me to reorganize my brain. Reading other people's blogs reminds me things could be so much worse. I just spend a little time seeing what is going on in the outside world, and more often than not, it encourages me to stay away from it as much as possible!
And yet there is some good too. The world hasn't completely gone to heck. The trouble is finding the good, while handling two rambunctious toddlers, without them getting snatched, or run over, or any of the other horrible things that can happen.
So...stuck at home. Most of the time. Worried sick about sending her to school. Could she be molested? Will she forever have separation anxiety from being sent away from Mommy so early? She's a pretty independent kid...but you still worry.
Then there is Taea, who is getting so smart. The day will come when she will figure out the doorknobs and locks, and I will be worried sick about her going out into the street in a moment of inattention.
So what to do? I can't live in paranoia, stress isn't good. For preggies, or anyone else. But neither can I just ignore the potential dangers. Just flip to the news sites for five minutes, and every day there is some new report about some new way your kid can get themselves killed in a seemingly innocent, safe home. Roman shades. I mean, c'mon, how random! They're even phasing out drop-side cribs because kids can get trapped and suffocate!
So how do I keep my kids, and myself, entertained and sane without putting us at risk?
Nope, not too sure on this one. Even just going out in the back yard to play in my fairly safe play area that is gated off from all the other stuff in the yard could be a hazard. They could get stung by a bee or wasp, they could fall off the slide and break their necks...or arms...or each other. And yet I can't be a helicopter parent because they will never learn that way.
Sigh. Y'know, some days I think insanity would be an acceptable option. Thoughts?

Confusing a Three Year Old...Where is my camera?

2009-08-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

Y'know how you dread the question "where do babies come from?" I mean, how the heck to explain intimacy to someone that small?
Well, before that, there is the other question. "Mom, why is your tummy getting so big?"
For us, it hasn't been so much of a direct question, due to Esther's speech problems, than it has been a battle to keep them from squashing me. Any time I sit down, it's a race to Mommy's lap for tickles, which inevitably ends in my getting kicked, or squashed, or head-butted in my baby bulge. So Jeff and decided to tell Esther that she needs to be careful because there is a baby growing in Mommy's tummy.
I have never seen such a puzzled look on her face before. It was priceless!
First she looked at me, then my tummy. The baby isn't quite moving enough yet for her to see the bumps and movements yet, so after a long moment of confusion...she lifts up her own shirt and looks down at her tummy! She said something vaguely resembling "baby in tummy?", at which point we had to explain that only mommies have babies in their tummies.
I still don't think she gets it. Still, what I would have paid to have my camera on hand to capture that look!
I'm hoping as I get bigger, and the baby's movements become more pronounced, Esther might get the idea. We've told her she is getting another baby sister, but I don't think she quite gets it yet. Until the baby actually comes, and she has tangible evidence in front of her, she'll just think that Mommy is getting fat.
Thank goodness it doesn't matter to kids as much as adults!

I Love Cold Cereal!

2009-08-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those days where you know you didn't get enough sleep, but you're so stir-crazy you want to do something anyway? You go through the morning routine, get the kids dressed, clean up the wet sheets from yet another leaky diaper, and try to decide what you're going to do that day?
Then you step on one of your kids toys, mess up your foot, and it's a moot point?
Yeah, this is one of those days.
No, there's nothing majorly wrong with my foot, it's just kinda bruised. But still, it put a lid on my running any errands today. Which is hard because I have some documents to take to the school before Esther starts in a week, I have checks to deposit, I have to get a refund from the city for my Farmer's Market fee (long story short, people in my neighborhood don't pay because it borders the host park), I have to find a cover for the couch before the girls destroy it...
Lots of stuff to do.
And that is why I love cold cereal.
Yeah, I've read all the research comparing its nutritional value to soggy cardboard. If that were the case, I would have starved years ago. Some days, you just don't want to cook, you're too tired to care, and the kids couldn't care less what you feed them. Throw a banana in the mix, and voila, instant healthy breakfast!
It's hard not to feel guilty when I don't cook, but when you are pregnant and tired, or had a full day and you're tired, or you're just plain tired, nothing beats a bowl of good old fashioned cereal. Heck, it even tastes better if someone else gets it for you! How is that for the height of laziness?
But does that really matter? In the long run, who is going to care that you took a day off and ate cold cereal for three meals? I mean, it could be worse! You could have eaten three big bowls of ice cream! Or cake! Or polished off that last handful of cookies from the bottom of the jar, because you know you couldn't let them go stale!
Some days, it just doesn't matter. You have to let go, and let yourself have a day off. If you're hurt, that goes double. The next day, you'll be hating yourself for the work you put off, but you'll be thanking yourself that all the mess you created in the kitchen was a few stray cereal pieces on the floor, and bowls in the sink. Toss them in the washer, a few quick swipes of the broom, and you're done! We all know that the kitchen is the one room in the house where we spend the most time. And why? Because of all the work! Making meals, eating meals, cleaning up after meals, putting away groceries, pet food on the floor...you know what I mean. It is the messiest room in the house. Why add to it, when you really just can't take it anymore?
You could just eat out. Yes, that is true. But what is less stressful-eating a bowl of cereal at home, or dragging your kids out the door to sit while someone else does the cooking, you hope in sanitary conditions, and you try to maintain your sanity when your kids are done half an hour before you and spend that time making a huge mess on the floor and/or screaming their lungs out? I don't know about you, but getting the proverbial evil eye from the other diners is not my idea of fun.
My kids are actually pretty good when we eat out. But boy do they make a mess. And if there are no crayons, whoa, air-raid siren in progress!
Cold cereal. You can't beat it! Oh, and for the record, my favorites are........
Nope, not gonna go there! Sorry, but I don't feel like getting hit up for product endorsements. Besides, my favorites change with my mood. That is to say, every five minutes.
Just get yourself a bowl, and relax. The filet mignon will still be there tomorrow.

I Forgot...

2009-08-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

Quick note, for those of you who haven't heard, we had the ultrasound. And...those pink jammies I had so neatly packed away get to be unpacked again.
Yup, it's a girl!
What happened to James? No idea. Maybe up in the spirit world one of his sisters got impatient and shoved her way to the front of the line! Or maybe this little one was supposed to go elsewhere, but didn't, for whatever reason, so the Lord decided to change the lineup a bit and send her to us. Who knows?
Anyway, we've got another little girl coming to us. Tentatively, we like the name Rebecca. We have a list of names we're considering, we'll wait until she is born to decide. I'll look into her little face and ask myself "What name suits this little person?" I also have to figure out if Becky is a name that suits a soccer player, because she's kicking the ever-lovin' crud outta me! She is going to be an active kid!
And James? Well, he'll come in the Lord's own due time, I'm sure.

When Laundry Attacks....

2009-08-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

C'mon. No way. There is no way those pitifully small piles can have come from three whole loads of laundry.
Oh, wait, I'm dealing with baby clothes! Silly me.
Sigh. Getting caught up on laundry is trickier than it looks. There is so much to sort, and of course I have to wrack my poor preggie brain to recall which of the girls clothes they've grown out of, which shirts are too small for Esther and should now go to Taea, which jammies need repair before going back in the drawer, etc. It's a never ending process, because...well, we're always wearing clothes! Just when you think it's all done, it's not done.
Well, it could be worse. I could spend a whole day bent over a washtub, scrubbing my brains out, with lye soap that burns the skin away as much as the stains!
It's a day for waxing philosophical. Truth be told, I don't have much energy for anything else. I am attempting another day without meds, to see if my body has FINALLY overcome the nausea enough to not need them. Peanut butter sandwiches, and lots of fruit salad. Good summer faire, eh?
How could my life be different? I've had a lot of dreams lately about living in a bigger, nicer home. I hope it will truly come to pass someday. This one just ain't gonna cut it! It has been a good start, better than an apartment, but it will be so crowded this winter with three kids!
I could have an abusive hubby. I could have a guy that makes six digits a year, but totally ignores me. I could have a guy who worships the ground I walk on. Wait, I do!
Life is such a funny thing. We're always looking for that next bigger thing, that next better thing. We fail to recognize the good things we already have. I could be living in Kabul right now, terrified of having a bomb dropped on me, or having my husband killed, or my girls getting acid thrown on them just for not being dressed "properly". Life could be so much worse.
Does that make it bad to aspire to something more? No, not really. But when getting more becomes the focus of your life, instead of one goal out of many, THEN it is bad. We really need to step back and be grateful for what we have.
My friend's husband just lost his job. They are facing homelessness. Things like that, things that hit close to home, REALLY make you have perspective on life! As much as I want Jeff to make enough for us to have a better place, I'll settle for just having a roof over my head.
Yeah, when laundry attacks, it gives you time to think. Be thankful for laundry. At least you had something to wear today.

Time Management equals Stress Management

2009-08-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

Ah, the joys of finding things you once thought were lost...yes, that's right, I FOUND THE DING-DANG SEWING MACHINE CORD! The cord was black, and it was tucked in a black rubber bin, so it blended perfectly. The only reason I found it is because I nearly tangled in it when I went to put the step-stool away. I brushed up against the cords, looked up, spotted the very distinctive plug that goes into the machine itself, and just about when nuts! Then, my dear sweet hubby was kind enough to haul the 400+ pound cabinet forward far enough to get everything plugged in, so I am ready to sew!
So now I have a choice. Do I honor his labor and start sewing immediately? I have some absolutely darling baby patterns for rompers and buntings and really cute stuff. Or do I get started on the blessing afghan I've been promising to make for the new baby (who is due in December). He found the yarn for that on Saturday. Notice how a lot of my progress in ANYTHING is tied to his presence???
Or do I get going on the ragdolls that he bought me the cutting mat for? Or maybe all three? Nothing says I can't do three things at once. I'm a woman! I can do sewing stuff in the office when the girls are up, and crochet in the living room when they're asleep.
Hmm...so many choices. So much cuteness to be discovered! I need to invite some friends over for a sew/crochet party or something!
Okay, calm down girl!
Notice something? I am so very very excited about all of this. And yet...what does it mean for me? Additional things to occupy my free time, which is rare as it is.
That is something of a segue into my third posting on how to survive as a mommy. Unnecessary stuff cluttering up our time.
Now, granted, the items I have mentioned are not bad in and of themselves. The dolls are meant to be income items, to be sold at the Farmer's Market. The baby clothes are for my little boy, who, at this point, doesn't have a whole lot of clothes yet. At least, not clothes that aren't pink, purple, and very girly. And the afghan is something of a tradition for me. Each of my kids so far has had a special blanket for their blessing. Esther had one from her step-grandma. Taea had one I made years ago for my hope chest.
Still, they are all very time-consuming projects. They could consume ME if I let them.
Then there is the fact that I have been given three different book series, and I haven't started on any of them. I know, those of you who know me are gasping in shock right now. My library rivals that of any school in the state in size. But still, I learned a very important lesson about books. They tend to envelope you to the point that EVERYTHING else gets neglected until you finish the very last sentence of the very last page of the very last book. Granted, I am a fast reader, but we're still talking at least two weeks of reading material here!
No, I am saving the books for this winter, when I am too fat to get up and do anything else.
So where am I going with this?
A lot of SAHM's who are frustrated with their lives mention they just don't have time for themselves. You're right, you don't. Your time belongs to everyone else, 24/7/365. And why? Because you let it.
Now, before you lynch me, no I am not blaming you. There are a lot of good things in the world for us to do. Good, necessary, important stuff, like feeding and clothing our kids. And for those of use who were raised with an "idle hands are the devil's workshop" mentality, it is practically impossible to sit still. I was raised by a woman with Great Depression parents, and it is so interesting to watch her sometimes. She is virtually incapable of sitting still. If she isn't actively doing something while she is watching TV, she has a notebook in her hands, learning something from the stock gurus on the various business channels. It is rare for her to watch an entire recreational movie from beginning to end.
And what does that do? Well, it tends to make your life so noisy, you end up constantly pent up and frustrated. Lately, due to lifelong arthritis and such, she has been forced to slow down. I have actually seen her on the couch, once or twice, not doing anything! But not because she wants to. Because she has to.
Is that what us young mothers want to come to? Work ourselves so hard with this, that, and the other that we end up with no life left in us by the time the kids are grown and gone?
It is time to prioritize, ladies. It is time for us to determine what is truly important. We need to find time in our day, even if it is just five minutes, to just sit down, relax, and be quiet. No radio, no TV, no books, nothing. Just relax, let your brain unwind, and be still.
Have you ever done archery? Have you ever seen what happens to a bowstring when it is constantly wound up tight? Over time, it tends to stretch and lose its spring. In rare cases, I've seen overwound bowstrings snap. I don't know about you, but if I were to snap, it would not be pretty. My family would be emotionally scarred for life.
We need time to ourselves. Yes, I've mentioned it is good for us to have hobbies, but hobbying and relaxing should be different things. If you find it is impossible for you to actually sit still during your relaxation, try taking up a meditative activity, like yoga. Such things are focused on helping the body be calm and flexible. Slow, easy movements can help to get you back into a focused rhythm that will help the rest of your day go so much easier. Do I speak from experience? No, I am about as flexible as a statue. I've never been able to touch my toes. But I do like stretching. I understand the concept. You have to take the time to let your mind and body quiet. I do feel much better and quieter after simple stretching. Frankly, stretching is good anyway because it can make us more nimble and less prone to injury.
Some of you are undoubtedly saying "but I just don't have the time until evening after the kids are in bed, and then I'm too tired." That's perfect. The best time for your body to be at peace is right before bed. My brain has the annoying habit of going a thousand miles a minutes before I go to bed, so it takes me forever just to get to sleep.
Experts have suggested a variety of sleep helps. Relaxation is definitely one of them. After you get the kitchen cleaned, toys picked up, lunches made for school and work, and throw in a load of wash, just sit down. Relax. TV is not the best idea. The rapid-fire images and light will actually make you more pent up than before you sat down!
Play some relaxing music if you must. Something without words, something soothing. Sit back, try some stretching or yoga, and just let the stress of the day unwind. Even if you only do this for fifteen minutes or so, I think you'll find you have a much easier time getting to sleep, and that is key to recharging your body and mind for the next day. If you find that you can't turn your brain off, keep a notepad by the bed so you can write down things to do the next day, or reminders of things that need to be taken care of. Write them down, then let them go so you can sleep.
Once you work out a pattern of evening relaxation, try to find a point during the daytime hours when you can do the same thing. Right after babies go down for nap, or when they're involved in quiet activity, or anytime you can leave them for a few minutes. Just find a quiet spot, sit back, and just relax. If the kids intrude, explain that mommy is resting for a minute, and they need to go do something else. Stick to your guns on this. You kids WILL survive five minutes without you. After a while, they will get used to the idea. And I think they will like a relaxed mommy much better than a keyed-up, stressed out one.
If you have to eliminate something on your to-do list, do it! Remember the crafts I mentioned earlier? If my sanity is hanging by a thread, the last thing I need to do is add another project to my list. Just let something go, something trivial, even something that can just plain wait. I think you'll actually be surprised by how much you get done when you have a new, relaxed state of mind. Admit it, you know you function better when you're in a good mood than when you're stressed. Stress causes your brain to fuzz. You're much more likely to make dumb mistakes, or forget something, which just causes you extra work. Taking the five minutes to calm down could save you hours of work undoing your mistakes later!! Ever had to rewash a load of dishes or clothes because you forgot the soap? (Me!)
Mommyhood is about much more than just survival, ladies! It's about surviving with our wits and our health as intact as possible. It's time to take back our time, spend some time on ourselves, and refill our depleted energy reservoirs as much as possible. We've all heard the studies. It is impossible for us to do our best for our families when we are completely exhausted. Don't feel guilty about the time you take for yourself, because it is as much for them as it is for us. To be the best mommy you can, you have to feel your best.
Hang in there!

The sacred storage bin spawning grounds

2009-08-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

Junk. Stuff. Kitsch. Knick-knacks. Old paperwork. Toys. Tools. Winter Clothes.
Holy cow, where is all this crap coming from??
Our stuff HAS to be spawning. There is no possible way we could have this much stuff! True, a lot of it is craft stuff. And true, we did inherit my father-in-law's stuff when he passed away. Now there is a true packrat! The guy kept every pair of glasses he ever owned. Which wasn't entirely a bad thing. We donated them to a program that takes used glasses to the poor in third-world countries.
But still....so much stuff!
I guess this is supposed to be a rough segue into my next article on how to be a SAHM without totally losing it. Keeping your stuff from swallowing you and your family whole. Remember the scene in Aladdin where the sands of the hourglass are burying Jasmine? Yeah, that's how I feel some days!
I've heard all the professional organizers' advice. I watched the organization shows on HGTV. The general rule? If you haven't used it for six months, and it isn't a seasonal item, THROW IT OUT! Donate it to charity. Whatever, just get rid of it.
Okay, well, for those without a sentimental bone in their body, that works. In my case...well, I haven't actually "used" my antique china doll for six months. I'm the fifth generation to own it. I'm not going to throw out an antique! Or the antique jewelry boxes my grandmother gave me. Or the oodles of journals Jeff's father left us. Some stuff is important!
But what the heck do you do with it? How do you tell the difference between items with genuine sentimental value and stuff that is just plain junk?
First of all, the glasses weren't the weirdest thing that he ever kept. He also kept old shavers, I guess in hopes that he could "fix" them. I mean the electric kind. We found three different electronic stud finders, each with some kind of malfunction. Why...?
I don't know if we'll ever know! That is the kind of stuff you throw out. Be totally and brutally honest with yourself. What is the likelihood that you'll ever get around to fixing it? Granted, if you are one of those people that can take a toaster apart and put it back together without batting an eye, then yes, maybe someday you'll be able to fix it.
If not...you know what to do. Throw it out. Recycle it. If we're not talking about a hygeine product, and it is an item that is still useful, donate it to charity.
Okay, that takes care of "stuff". I think you are smart enough to tell whether something truly has sentimental value, or whether it is just junk that a relative happened to pass on to you. Only you can tell, but be honest with yourself. If it isn't something you would use or display, and no one else in the family is interested, just get rid of it. Too much stuff tends to be like a giant weight around your neck. And besides, who wants to waste money on a storage space for stuff that you will, in all honesty, NEVER use?
Now, what about paperwork? This tends to tread into territory that involves legalities. I do not pretend to be a legal expert, nor will I ever be one, so any advice I give here is strictly my personal rule, and not intended to be a substitute for a good conversation with a lawyer or financial planner.
Generally, if it is paperwork for an account that is closed, is more than five years old, and has nothing to do with your taxes, shred it. Get rid of it. I know people who have kept their old checkbook NCR copies for checking accounts from 30 years ago. Unless you've got something in those old stubs that you wrote off on your taxes, what is the point? All that paper does is attract mice, bugs, and storage space fees.
Now, if you want to play it safe, go buy a scanner and scan all those old statements onto a DVD. Scanners are relatively cheap, easy to use, and there is nothing that says it has to take up precious hard drive space. Just burn it to a CD or DVD, and keep it in a safe place. Most document folders can be backed up to just a few discs, and that is something that will fit in most safe-deposit boxes. Besides, backing up your hard drive is a good idea anyway. Hardware doesn't last forever, and you don't want to lose all those family photos you just spent three months scanning in.
Clothing. This is an even harder one, especially for those of use whose weight tends to...um...shall we say...fluctuate? Yes, I am pregnant, I have an excuse, but I have always been a touch on the "fluffy" side. So what do you do with all those old clothes from high school you always swore you would fit into again?
Well, you know fashion. Things never stay in style for very long. Even timeless things like jeans can only last so long in a rubber bin before the aforementioned mice/bugs get to them. (Yes, even in a bin!) And besides, let's face it ladies. After three kids, what is the likelihood you'll ever be able to stuff your mommy hips into those size 2 jeans again?
Then there is the fact that the fashion industry keeps changing size guidelines. Size 2 these days is not what size 2 was ten years ago. Heck, size 2 for one designer isn't even the same as for another designer!
So what do you do? Yes, you'll have some stuff you want to store because you don't want your cashmere sweaters taking up space in July when you have perfectly good sundresses to hang in that spot. Buy some space bags, find a few shelves in the basement or garage that are away from the door or windows, up off the floor, and put them there. Winter coats, gloves, hats, scarves...anything you don't currently have room for, put away.
Then, when winter comes, you take those nice sundresses and pack them away in the same bags. Put your winter stuff in the closet. Just swap them out.
If the clothes don't fit, and they're more than 2 sizes away from your current size, and they're not maternity clothes, just get rid of them. I'm sure the local Goodwill, DI, or Salvation Army will be glad for the donations, especially in these tough times. People are barely skrimping by, and it will be a big boost to those who actually need those items. They're not doing you any good in the garage, so they might as well cover someone else's shivering bod! Frankly, that rule could go for just about anything you sort. If it isn't doing you any good, and someone else could use it, get rid of it!
If you still have the dress you wore to prom, and you just can't part with it, then fine. Remember our discussion about sentimental value? Just don't go overboard. Letter sweaters, old band or choir t-shirts, football/basketball jerseys--stuff that is part of your personal history are okay. I would give yourself a single bin for such clothing mementos. Anything beyond that, get rid of. (Oh, that limit does not apply to wedding dresses. I mean, c'mon, they're a box unto themselves!)
Hmm, so what is left? Well, when we bought our house, there were a lot of old tools, fertilizer, and other gardening stuff left in the garage from the previous owner. Some of it is useful, a lot of it was redundant. Anyone who has owned a home for a while knows what I'm talking about. You can't find the rake, so you buy another one. Soon, you have five of them. Now what??
Well, if you have a large yard, and older kids, it is a good idea to have more than one shovel, more than one rake. But you probably don't need five. See if your local secondhand shop takes stuff like that. If not, see if there is a young family in the neighborhood that needs yard tools. Donate them to the scouts. Turn it into a lawn ornament. Whatever. Just don't let it take up space in the garage!
Here's another general rule for stuff like that. If it is broken, throw it out. I don't care how well-intentioned you are about fixing an item, if you haven't bought a replacement pole for that push-broom head, and it has been sitting in the garage for more than a month, chances are it will never get fixed. Toss it.
Now there are dozens of other categories we could touch on. Art supplies (guilty grin), kid stuff, toys, etc. But I think you get the idea. Be totally honest, determine whether an item truly has value, or whether the space is worth more than the item. And don't worry about whether Great-Auntie Ethel will freak about you tossing out her old stained damask tablecloth. I highly doubt it will cause a family feud. And if it does...let's be honest people. That implies majorly screwed-up priorities! Just be honest and tell her you weren't using it and you needed the space. If it was an item of major sentimental value, she shouldn't have given it away in the first place!
Yes, once again, I'm the pot calling the kettle black. But I'm trying! Our garage looks better now than it has all summer, and I have the boxes prioritized as to what needs to be sorted first. It is a start. The key is to get started. A box a week. Bring it in to your table, set yourself down, and just do it. Do it again next week. Before you know it, you'll have found that darn missing SEWING MACHINE PEDAL, and everything else you thought had been lost/stolen eons ago. The stuff you truly value will finally have a place, and you'll have more peace in your heart and your home.
And you'll be investing less in mousetraps!

Being a Stay at Home Mom...without losing it

2009-08-06T15:13:00.001-07:00

Okay. I know what you're thinking. I've been nutty in my previous posts, talking about the kids driving me crazy. Frankly, I think ANYONE who claims to be completely sane is suspect. But still, it IS possible to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) without going totally nuts.
But how?
I've actually had a lot of conversations with friends and family lately about how hard it is to maintain an identity, and your sanity, when you are subjected to too much Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, and Wubbzy all day. No idea what I'm talking about? You're lucky!
The shows in and of themselves are not bad. They teach some great stuff, about animals, and helping each other, and not taking yourself too seriously. But when a show repeats its theme music FIFTY FREAKIN' TIMES in ONE episode (only a slight exaggeration), then you've got a problem.
So what do you do? If you have a small place, like an apartment, it's kinda hard to avoid. I'm lucky that I have an office toward the back of a narrow house that keeps me separated from most of the insanity. Trouble is, it also keeps me separated from the kids.
They watch too much TV. I admit it. Since I've been so pregnant and sick, I've actually avoided being in a position where they can tumble on me, like on the couch, for fear that they might squish me a bit too hard and cause....well, you know. It has happened. It is not fun.
I hate being away from them. So what do I do instead?
Well, first of all, I spend way too much time on this evil one-eyed monster. Okay, maybe it's not evil. But it sure is addicting! Surfing the net for news, blogs, weirdness, etc. It's too hot to go outside, there is nowhere else comfortable to sit in the house, and being on my feet too much is just too exhausting.
So in the last few weeks, I've looked for alternatives. Something else to think about besides "okay, which one is stinky this time". It really helps a SAHM, when you do not want or need a career, when you can still have a sense of self. A hobby, or just SOMETHING to make you feel like you are still an adult, still relevant, and can still carry on an intelligent conversation beyond which brand of diaper is best.
I'm signed up to sell at the Farmer's Market. So, what to sell? I was planning on selling jewelry, but there are too many of those kinds of booths already. I had planned on making rag dolls, so this was my next project.
Enter Esther.
She was utterly FASCINATED! When I told her I was cutting out arms and legs, she just gave me this blank look. But when those parts were sewn and I was attaching them to the body, I could see her gears turning as she "got it". She helped me pin and unpin it, I made her responsible for stuffing all the pins back into my pink tomato pincushion. Once the stitching was done, she helped me stuff it. It took forever, hand sewn, because the power cord to my machine is currently MIA.
It was ugly. Ungainly. Totally disproportionate. Vaguely scary. Highly disappointing. Clearly, I had not printed out the pattern correctly. It looked like something that was thrown together from scraps by someone with only a vague idea of what people look like. (which is half true, it was made from scrap fabric)
And she LOVED it!
She wouldn't even let me finish stuffing it before she wanted it. So I gave it to her. Over an hour, with a few bait-and-switch tactics, I managed to get it stuffed. Over the last couple of days, I added eyes, which made it even scarier because the head is too small.
But she loves it. She chose the green eyes. And she won't go to bed without it. She is over the moon about the craziest things.
Inevitably, Taea decided she wanted the dolly too. Being only 20 months, she has no concept of property, so she just took it. Honestly, I think World War 2 started more quietly. So I solved it by working on Test Doll number 2, using different scrap fabric. Still scary, still ungainly, but a bit closer to my final goal.
She loved it.
Hers, unlike Esther's, has no eyes. I didn't want to take the risk of her biting them off and swallowing them. The eyes, by the way, are nothing more than simple buttons sewn on with upholstery thread. But she loves it just the same. Next up: Clothing. They don't seem to notice that their dollies are naked, but eventually, they might. So simple A-line dresses will do.
Test doll number 3 is done, this one I insisted is "mommy's dolly". I gave this one a full face with a.......well, I don't really want to call it a smile. I've never seen anything less like one. This is the scariest of the three, by far. But the proportions are finally right, which is what I was after. This is the test doll for hair, eyes, and the mouth. I have since practiced making smiles on some scrap cloth on an embroidery hoop, and I think I've got it.
ANYWAY, in my quest to find something to get me out of the house, and give me a hobby to help me maintain an identity other than just "Mom", I managed to find a way to connect with Esther. Taea is another story, I don't let her in the office that often because it's too full of glass and pins and other dangerous stuff, but Esther loves to come in, sit on the step stool, and "help" me sew. As I type, I can feel my chair twitch. She's in here now, probably wondering what is so fascinating about this glowing thing that Mommy stares at. But that's all right. When I'm done here, we'll start on Dolly #4, which will be the first doll made out of the actual tea-stained muslin I bought for making the dolls. This oughta be fun.
Oh, and Jeff bought me a cutting mat! That is the number one thing about crafting. If you don't have the right tools, you will either frustrate yourself to no end, or badly damage a great antique. (My mom's sewing cabinet, which she has since given to me) It needs a little refinishing, and some scratch repair here and there, but there is nothing like a quilter's cutting wheel to make your furniture run screaming into the night.
So now I have what I need to solve two problems. A) Maintaining my hobby of creating beautiful works of art, which I love, and B) connecting with my daughters. When the girls are old enough, I will teach them to sew just as my mom taught me. The machine is different, but the setting is the same.
So what can you do to maintain your own sanity? I guess this is more than just a blog post, this is more like a series! Step one, find something, ANYTHING, that is reasonably priced, that you enjoy, and that can be done at home. Reading, writing, painting, it can be anything as long as it is something that you can put away relatively easy. Nothing challenges sanity like walking into a room and finding the crochet project that you worked on for 100+ hours unraveled all over the floor. (Yes, this has happened, although in my case it was a single square that only took two hours, but STILL....) Find something that can help you connect with the kids. As they watch you, their curiosity will bloom, and you will enjoy each other's company a lot more than if you just sat on the couch and watched Dora consult her map for the five trillionth time.
What if your kids prove to have no aptitude for it whatsoever? So what. At least they tried something new. It will only take a few "something new"s for them to find something they enjoy, that you can share, and that they're good at. It's about broadening their world.
And at the same time, you broaden yours. Seriously. You want to maintain sanity? Give yourself something else to think about. You'll be VERY glad you did.

Craziness

2009-07-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

Sigh. It's July. Well, actually, the month is almost over. Makes me feel kinda guilty, I haven't done a single Farmer's Market yet, and I paid for a season pass.
I'll have to make up for it this fall, I guess.
Anyway, still got nasty icky morning sickness. It's actually gotten to the point where I really am sick more in the morning, when I first get up. I'm down to a quarter of my meds, and I'm able to eat/drink dairy, so I am improving.
However, in talking to my Grandma, she told me that with each of her pregnancies, she got progressively WORSE, not better. Ouch. I sure hope I didn't inherit her genes, though I certainly seem to have inherited other stuff from that side. With her last one, she was in the hospital for 3 months!
Of course, that was before the era of prescription drugs.
Anyway, things are improving a bit. Still having to deal with side effects, but I think my body is FINALLY getting the hang of dealing with it. If I have to be sick for the rest of the pregnancy, I guess I'll deal with it. The current hope is that when the summer heat goes away, the dehydration will cease, and the majority of the sickness will go away.
Okay, okay, enough of that. Esther is still growing like a weed. I was digging through her drawer looking for a t-shirt, and I can't believe how many things don't fit anymore! I need to just take it all out and dump it in Taea's drawer, since she'll be wearing that stuff next. Of course, that would mean Esther would be left with next to nothing to wear for winter!
I know I have a couple of boxes of 4T stuff around here somewhere. I guess I better get digging before my little girl has to go to school naked!
Taea is.....well, Taea. She is growing too fast, her 24 month stuff is too small, and she's only 20 months! Eesh. Well, I guess I better qualify that. She has her daddy's long torso, and short legs, so 18 month pants fit, but the shirts are another matter. She is getting braver every day, climbing on absolutely EVERYTHING she can reach. Kinda scary.
And James? I'm getting BUTTERFLY FLUTTERS! He's getting big enough and moving enough I'm just barely starting to feel him! Yes, I'm sure of it, it's too solid and too random to be anything else. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, during which I will schedule my ultrasound. That will be so freakin' awesome!
Of course, that also makes it so much more real. Gotta get the bassinet out one of these days and start cataloguing all the clothes we've bought/been given over the last year or so.
Things are just going so darn FAST right now. I kinda wish life would slow down a bit! But I guess that's just what happens. Time flies faster the older you get.
I hear a mouse creeping around my kitchen. Gotta go see what she's up to now! One of these days I'll get some pics posted.

Ugh

2009-05-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

I hate morning sickness. Well, all-day sickness, actually. Tried all the old remedies, tried some newer remedies, and short of getting some heavy duty prescription stuff, nothing has worked.
I haven't actually thrown up. So of course, you're wondering, 'what's the big deal?'. Simple. Once I start, I don't stop for a looooooooong time.
Now that you've got that lovely image in your head, things aren't too bad. The girls are doing well. Esther seems to like going to school on Tuesdays, and we will have her tested in July to see if she needs pre-school in the fall. Taea is using more words now, at least HER version of words. We'll see if she has the same speech problems as Esther.
Bottle-breaking is looming on the horizon like some mythological monster. The girls will go postal on me, but we have no choice. If the bottles have been causing the ear clogs, they have to go. No question about it.
I'm just so spineless when I'm pregnant and sick. I hope this sickness doesn't last as long with the girls. The sickness with Esther ended when I quit my job. With Taea, it culminated in gallbladder surgery. I shudder to think what the catalyst will be this time.
Ah, well, it's two months, (I hope!) then I can get on with things. I have lots of fabric to turn into little boy sleepers. Yes, it's going to be a boy. We know this. Jeff keeps teasing me about twins, I keep reminding him that he'll be helping with 3 am feedings if it is.
Life goes on. I'm a little too tired to think about what else has been going on, so I guess I'll keep this short.

Spring has Sprung!...where's my shovel...

2009-04-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

Ah Spring! That wonderful time of the year when everything starts growing, including my garden!
Well, that's the general idea, anyway.
I got a bit of a late start. I haven't started my warm-weather crops yet, and I have two 9-packs of Broccoli waiting to be buried, but I've got other seeds in the ground. I'm hoping I have a decent garden this year, since I signed up to have a booth at the Farmer's Market.
Of course I am not relying on just my crops. I will be selling crafts again, only this time instead of having them all at once, I'll rotate crafts for something different each Saturday.
I hope I have better luck this year than last. I made diddly last year. Oh well, maybe second time's the charm.
The girls are getting so big! And so active. They want to be outside all the time, which is hard, because they are both fair-skinned, and we all fry at the drop of a hat. Forty-five minutes at the park, and Taea and I were both pink. Dunno how Esther escaped! I can't wait for the trees at the park to get their leaves so we can play in the shade!
Anyway, life is moving along. We got a new dishwasher, and it is doing a better job than the last one. I'm hoping we can continue to work on the house and make things better.
Gotta go break up a baby fight. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

Vacationing With Babies 101

2009-04-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, yeah, I just went on vacation, and yes, I'm still recovering!
Driving 800+ miles with two babies ain't for the faint of heart. Especially in winter. We ended up trapped in Pocatello and had to stay overnight because the roads turned into a giant ice rink.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. For the uninformed, we drove up to Oregon for my brother's wedding. We went up a week early so we could see some of the sights up there. We took the girls to the zoo, and went to the Tillamook Cheese Factory, Seaside, and Lloyd Center. That last one was a bit scary, the clientele there isn't exactly the salt of the Earth. We heard there was a shooting there the evening after we shopped there. I certainly won't be going back any time soon!
Anyway, we got to the actual wedding day, which was hectic. And that is putting it mildly. Due to an overly long to-do list, our trailer didn't get loaded until the morning of the wedding, so I ended up at the church two hours late to decorate for the reception. All things considered, I think we pulled it off fairly well. We had a decent turnout, including some people I literally haven't seen in a decade! Ryan and Lisa made such an adorable couple, and except for some wardrobe issues (Lisa's dress was too long and we had no time to hem it!), everything went pretty smoothly. Oh, and word to the wise...when using a chocolate fountain, make sure you have a food grade mini-strainer to pull out crumbs.
Some survival tips for parents traveling with young children--these are things we used on this trip, and for the most part, it worked!
1. Do not try to bottle break a baby right before a trip. I don't care what Great Aunt Dorothy says about your kid being too old, if Baby Timmy doesn't have his ba-ba for a long trip, and he's only been off it a week, both of you will suffer for it!
2. GET A DVD PLAYER! Yes, they can be expensive, but man is it worth it! We took a trip for Thanksgiving and, unfortunately, we did the first half of the drive without the player. Two hours straight of screaming. I kid you not. We ended up stopping a little earlier than we thought for our overnight stay because the babies refused to go to sleep.
Oh, and make sure you spend a little extra on a good brand, and don't forget the warranty. We've gone through three players in the last four months, one of which only lasted one day before the screen went bad. And get one of those carriers that suspends it between the front seats, it will save it from being kicked to death by little feet. If you can afford it, get a permanently mounted player.
3. New Toys-When you're taking a vacation and spending a bundle already, you probably don't need another expense. But when traveling with children under five, get a few new toys. Yes, even if they are noisy, it is worth it. The best ones are ones with lots of buttons to push, interactive board books, that kind of things. These toys would be "car toys", or toys only to be used in the car. The novelty will help to keep Little Janey from screaming for at least a short time, which may be all you need to get to Grandma's house without ending up in a strait jacket.
4. Snacks--Yes, I know I am going to be lynched by dentists everywhere for this one, but again, it is worth it to maintain peace. If you are going on a trip, take a variety of snacks. Some good healthy ones, like apple slices, carrots, celery, and anything else that's fun to munch. Also take a few snacks that your kids may not ordinarily be allowed to have. Sometimes you can get good behavior just with the enticement of those frosted animal crackers, when usually they can only have plain ones.
That is eating between meals, of course, which isn't good for teeth or their weight, but if you moderate the sugary stuff, and maybe pack a toothbrush in your purse for rest stops, you can save yourself a lot of aggravation. If you time the snacks right, you won't ruin their appetite for meals.
5. Comfortable Clothing-You're driving cross-country to go to Disneyland, and you just stopped for the night. You wake up the next morning in your hotel room, and realize that Little Susy's suitcase is at the bottom of the pile in the trunk.
What do you do?
Well, if Little Suzy is in PJs, maybe it would be better to just leave it that way! She will be less likely to wiggle and squirm in her seat if you save that pretty chiffon number for your actual destination. Anything that might make a child uncomfortable, like tight elastic waistbands, or even making them wear their shoes in the car, should be avoided. In fact, taking those shoes off may save the aforementioned DVD player from an untimely destruction.
6. Stick to routine if possible, but be flexible-when traveling, it is nearly impossible to stick to the child's normal routine, such as bedtime. Don't be surprised if, when you arrive at your destination two hours after Little Johnny's bedtime, he is bouncing wildly on the queen size motel bed instead of nodding off. Children can get sudden bursts of energy when their body thinks they have to stay up longer, so it might take longer to get them to sleep.
If they have a regular bedtime routine, don't sacrifice it just because you are in a strange place. Bring along their regular lovey and blanket, this can make them feel more comfortable. If they usually have a bath right before bed, stick to it. You might even bring along a few bath toys. Maintaining a bedtime routine will help calm them, since their body equates these routines with sleep.
Morning routines should also be observed as much as possible. Naptime in the car isn't easy, but it can be done. Quiet the car, tuck them in with their lovey and blanket as usual, and make sure they are in a seat that gives sufficient head and neck support. If not, you might want to invest in, or make, one of those horseshoe shaped neck pillows. Nothing is worse than a toddler with a headache, that can't TELL you they have one. If you are driving at an angle that puts sun in their face, get a window shade. Yes, they make them for minivans too, you can find the right shade for your car at just about any Wal-mart or Target.
7. Sticking to rules-just because Grandma thinks it's okay to turn her living room into a jungle gym, doesn't mean it is okay. Whatever rules you have at home, stick to them on the road. If you are a flexible parent, and don't have a lot of rules for guest decorum, you might want to rehearse such rules a few weeks before going so there are no surprises for the kids upon arrival.
Even so, if your kid gets a little overly excited, and does something they would normally NEVER do at home, try not to go postal. Being in a strange place and off schedule is likely to do strange things to their memory. Remind them gently how they are expected to behave, and if they are bored, try to find something to keep them occupied. Your hosts may not have toys and activities for kids, so either make arrangements beforehand, or bring stuff with you. Remember those new toys we discussed...? If you are comfortable doing so, ask where the neighborhood park is, and let them wear out a little energy. Your hosts might enjoy a walk and sit outside as well, rather than staying in a stuffy house.
8. These tips apply to parents too! If you are on a diet, try not to be too hard on yourself when you nibble on one of those forbidden frosted animal crackers. You are on vacation, and it is supposed to be fun. If the rest of the family is having a great time munching on cotton candy and fried Twinkies, how are you going to feel watching them? No, that is not license to totally blow off your diet, but have a little fun. Make sure your regular meals are balanced. And hey, when you consider the calories you are burning off carrying a 50 pound diaper bag, a 25 pound purse, and a 14 pound baby plus carrier, you'll probably come out better than your normal routine!
Make sure you follow the clothing rules for yourself. Invest in a nice jogging outfit or two that fits loosely, and maybe some sandals you can kick off in the car. If you plan to go to Disneyland or somewhere that requires a lot of walking, skip the fashionable platforms that could make you twist your ankle and settle for some comfortable sneakers. Preferably some that have good insoles, or even airsoles. Remember the mantra "If Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" If you get in a bad mood, it's likely to rub off on the rest of the family. Babies are especially good at sensing tension, so try to keep things cool.
9. Remember that breadwinners may be a little stressed from all this togetherness with the kids. Whichever one spends the most time at work, whether Dad or Mom, may not be as familiar with the kids' quirks, and so they may be easily stressed when a kid is fussy or whiny. The primary caregiver should be understanding of this stress, and explain things calmly when possible. Moms, remember that even if this is your vacation, he may not be entirely capable if picking up your slack when you just don't feel like taking care of things. Dads, TRY ANYWAY! Your whole family will be much happier if you are both enjoying yourselves, instead of feeling like a pack mule/maid/nanny.
10. Have fun, but don't overdo it! Nothing is more boring to a kid than enforced hours in a car. If you have young children, try to plan for a vacation that centers in one area. If you are planning a driving vacation to see many sights across the country, try to wait until the kids are old enough to entertain themselves, and appreciate what you are showing them. A three-year-old won't care how many men it took to carve Mount Rushmore, all he cares about is that you won't let him pick up all the neat rocks. Try to go for age-appropriate activities, keep naps and bedtimes in mind when planning, and if your kid is about to have a meltdown, don't be afraid to take things off the to-do list. Trust me, those fun little side trips are no fun at all with a screaming kid in tow. And if they have had too much time in the car, and are wiggling like they've got fire ants in their pants, try having dinner at a McDonalds with a playland, or a Chuck E Cheese, instead of the sit-down at Olive Garden. Your dinner will be much more enjoyable if your children are happy too.
11. Safety first! Practically anywhere you go, there are strangers that might, just might, have ill intentions toward your family. If you are planning to go somewhere with young children that has lots of people crowding around you, make sure you can reach out and touch your child at all times. I hate to make anyone paranoid, but let's face it, there are sick people out there. If your child is the type that likes to see how far they can get away from you, invest in a double stroller, or buy one of those cute animal backpacks with a leash. Again, these can be purchased at nearly any store that carries baby products. Physical contact is the best preventative of kidnapping.
Just as scary as kidnapping is the safety of the places you are going. If you have all children under five, taking them to the biggest roller coaster in the park is probably a bad idea. If you want to ride the thrill rides, and your kids can't handle it, trade off with your spouse/partner. One of your rides while the other babysits, preferably in a place where the kids can be easily restrained. Make sure the kids get in on age-appropriate action as well. The Dumbo cars can usually hold most grown adults, so take your kids for rides. The carousel is usually okay for kids of all ages so long as a parent is with them. I have taken my babies on the carousel horses with me, and if you are properly strapped in, and have a good grip, they usually don't go fast enough to be dangerous. There are many rides and activities for young kids if you know where to look.
Another scary little caveat is theft. Leave your Gucci bag at home, and I don't care how stupid it looks, try for a fanny pack, neck wallet, or backpack instead. You can usually bring those on most rides, and if you have a fancy stroller that you are worried about being stolen, rent one from the park. Try to leave as many personal belongings in a safe place in the car or hotel as you can. If you have stuff you just have to have with you in the park, like medications, but you don't want to carry it, look for lockers. Many parks have lockers inside the gates that can be rented for a nominal fee. It saves you a trip out to the parking lot, but keeps your stuff safe from sticky fingers.
12. Now that I've scared you, get out there and have fun! Vacations with little children ARE possible if you plan it right, and avoid overloading them. They may not have many clear memories of what you did, but if the vacation is done right, the good feelings of fun and family time can last for a lifetime, and make them all the more eager for the next family trip.
Happy Traveling!

Monday Again

2009-03-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

The title says it all. It's Monday. Its gray and gloomy and we've got a snowstorm headed our way. My kitchen and living room are a mess, I've got laundry piled sky high, and the babies are being obnoxious.
Typical Monday.
Well, it could be worse, I suppose. I could be in the hospital. I could be in Darfur. I could be dead. Would that be worse or better?
No, I'm not suicidal! Just thinking about how different things would be in the spirit world, or in the Millennium, or whatever. You look at all the garbage happening around the world, and it's like "do I really want to bring more kids into this?"
I dunno, I've been waxing darkly philosophical lately. Probably a product of SADD. I try to be happy, I really do. It's just hard when you're surrounded by so many sad things.
Well, we're having Jeff's sister over to visit tonight, that will be a nice change of pace. We're getting a quote on the windows, we're getting the furnace cleaned, and all things considered, life isn't too bad right now. I'm feeling better than I was last Monday, just tired and cranky, but I'm not on my deathbed.
Why do people dwell so much on what they COULD have? I am just as guilty as anyone else. But why? Are we programmed for jealousy? Are we designed to constantly be dissatisfied with our lot in life?
Hmm. Not necessarily expecting an answer, just food for thought. Maybe I think too much. I dunno.
Well, I have a kitchen begging to be cleaned. Better get it done while babies are napping. Anyone who wants to join in a discussion on why humans are so hard to please, feel free to comment!

I Hate Mondays

2009-03-02T10:49:00.001-08:00

I hate mondays. You've asked me why. Well, today, I REALLY hate Monday.
I wake up, it's gray and gloomy outside. Since I suffer from S.A.D.D., it just starts me out in a depressed mood.
Then, I go get babies and change diapers. Not so bad, you say. Well, not usually. But when a baby blows out a diaper...shudder.
As I am doing this, I notice a strange sensation in my stomach. Gradually, it builds itself up to nausea and diarrhea.
Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.
So now it's gray. It's cold. I'm sick. Taea is getting sick again. Jeff is at work. Esther thinks I'm a trampoline. And I can't take any Pepto or anything because we're trying for baby #3 and I can't take certain stuff if I'm pregnant.
Sigh.
So yeah, Mondays suck. And now Esther is screaming because she was climbing on the toy bin holder, which I told her not to do about a bajillion times, and it fell over. I swear, that kid won't make it to her tenth birthday.
I sure hope Tuesday is better. If it isn't, I'm going to run away and join the circus.

Ho-hum, winter is dumb

2009-01-30T08:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, well, I guess "dumb" isn't quite the right word. Winter is a necessary part of the ecology of our planet.
It still sucks.
Oh, yeah, and those of you who know me are like "who are you and what have you done with Heather?" I used to love winter. Bugs die by the truckload!!!
But it's not the same now. Inversions, ice storms, traffic jams, etc. Can't take babies outside in the snow, not for any length of time. Can't go to the park, have to bundle up just to go ANYWHERE.
It's not the season, it's the hassles. I am so looking forward to spring, when I can take the girls outside to play, I can get down and dig in the dirt and plant things, and it warms up to where my feet aren't so freezing all the time! Winter's like having a pair of ice cubes for feet!
Well, I guess I can wait. For another month. Or two. Mrrrrrr...
In the meantime, what does one do in a tiny little house? Crafts, I guess, if I could get my sewing machine unburied for any length of time. Cleaning, of course. That never stops. Sorting our junk. Working on projects around the house, stuff that has been left undone.
It's just hard to get motivated. If anyone has any great ideas, I'd love to know!

Cooking Escapades

2009-01-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

Well, this outta be interesting. I found a recipe online for "Easy Slow Cooker Beef Stew". Well...I shoulda read the ingredient list before I tried it. You'd need the biggest slow cooker on the market for it! It's even testing the limits of my big stew pot, and that's after omitting three cans of vegetables!
So since I don't have a pot that big, I am, of course, using the stock pot. And...not being an experienced cook, I didn't realize that I needed to brown the meat before putting the stew together.
This should be an interesting experience. I hope it comes out all right, because this is a LOT of stew. I'd hate to throw it out.
I've been experimenting more with cooking lately. I'm not very good at it, but I'm getting better. At least, more adventurous. Thank goodness I have a hubby that eats practically anything!
Anyone got an easy recipe to share? Please let me know! I'm always looking for stuff to be creative with, just as long as it's not terribly expensive!
Got any cooking tips to share? I'll take those too! I've got pretty much everything I need, tool-and-pot wise.
I'll let you know in my next post how this stew goes! Next up: wontons!

Ah, the thrills of parenthood!

2009-01-21T15:27:00.000-08:00

What's up with my world? Well, I'll tell you!
We have a few answers with Esther, finally. She has mucular otitis in one ear. Translation: gunk behind the ear drum. We're treating it with antibiotics, give it a few weeks and get rid of this #$@$ inversion, and hopefully she'll clear up. We don't know if it is causing deafness, but the ear drum isn't moving, so i assume it has some responsibility for her garbled speech.
She was evaluated today for an early intervention program. She may receive tutoring and special classes if they determine she is behind in any areas. Personally, i thought the testing went well except in the speech area, which is what I was expecting. We'll see what happens, they meet tomorrow and I'll hear after that what the results are.
Taea is doing okay, except this inversion has given her a sore throat and bad attitude as well. It has increased my coughing again, sore throat, etc, which isn't good because the steroid they gave me to open my lungs also reduces my immunity. Gonna have to stuff myself full of herbs!
Jeff is doing okay except for his dang jaw, as usual. I found another type of mouth guard for nighttime grinding, this one is much slimmer and hopefully won't gag him through the night.
Other than that, it's pretty much life as usual. Working on some new products for Quilted Bear, trying to keep the girls alive and healthy, and waiting for the other shoe to drop with the Democrats bailout plan. That is an AWFUL lot of money, personally, I think they should just give it to the consumer so we can pay off all our debts, which will bail out the banks, and everything will be fine!
Until we get back into debt, that is.
Human. Such simple, sad fools. Some day, maybe we'll learn.
Till then, or until my next post, whichever comes first...just stay alive!!!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T12:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years to all! I want to thank everyone that came to our party, it was a lot of fun. Exhausting, but fun! Esther is still staying up late as a result, I've GOT to get her naps back on schedule!
Now I get to deal with three months of winter blues. I have a mild case of SAD, though I really don't want to take medication for it. I prefer not to have my moods be a result of chemical intervention.
So instead, I think I'll clean my office out and make room to work on crafts. Making things always cheers me up.
It's a new year, with new possibilities. I'm sure we all agree that 2008 stunk. Economy wise, politically, and in a lot of other ways. I guess we can't really complain. We managed to buy a house, and we're doing well in most respects. I just feel bad for everyone who has lost money or a home in the melee.
Well, Happy New Year again, and lets all pray that this year is better than the last!

Post Christmas Blues

2008-12-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

Y'know, this Christmas kinda snuck up and ambushed me. It didn't help that I had to have Catsie help me put up the tree because my living room was such a disaster. Okay, actually, SHE put the thing up while I sat on the couch and coughed my lungs out.
Pneumonia sucks.
Still, even though we did very little for Christmas due to illness, weather, and lack of space, it always makes me sad to see it go. The lights are so pretty, and with a little ingenuity, aka, the "cage", we are able to protect the tree.
But there simply isn't room to keep it up. Once it comes down, then we go into the winter doldrums. Stuck inside all day, only going outside for half an hour at a time because Esther gets too cold to stay out. Depressing. Winter used to be my favorite holiday, but since having kids...it's just too hard on me staying inside all day.
At least I have a hobby now to keep me busy. I had my first sales at the Quilted Bear. Not enough to pay the rent, at least not yet, but it's gratifying to know that people are interested enough in my work to buy it.
And now we're having a New Years party. It think it's the first family party we've hosted that doesn't involve a birthday. Here's hoping everyone is well enough for it!
I had a bunch I was going to say tonight, but my brain is fried. I guess you'll just have to keep reading later and see what else was on my mind!
Oh yeah......Happy New Year!

All moved in! (But not settled)

2008-12-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

You know, I think it is some kind of law that you cannot ever be fully unpacked from a move.
Still, I would like my living room to be less than half full of boxes some day.
We're enjoying being in our new house. We've got a big back yard with lots of space for gardening. Jeff has his own office. Sorta. He has to share space with my craft stuff, but still, he doesn't have to share space with the toys anymore!!
It's an older home, built in 1928, and it needs work. The structure is sound, but the plumbing and electrical need a complete overhaul. It suits our needs for now. Nothing is falling down on us, or leaking, or broken, so I'm pretty happy with it! The lot has lots of potential, we have 90 feet to the back fence so we are talking about putting in an addition someday. When we can afford it.
We have a cat now as well. She is black and white, still has claws, and is THOROUGHLY spoiled! She is a very affectionate lap cat, so while I am sitting here typing this, she is nudging me for pats.
Esther and Tae-Tae just continue to get bigger. The living room is a constant mess, but at least Esther is getting better at cleaning it up!
We are getting ready for Christmas. Which basically entails frantically getting out Christmas gifts and cards and trying to unbury a spot in the living room for the tree. Taea has no regard for the word "no", so I am not looking forward to cleaning up all the torn up decorations. Maybe I'll put it in the playpen...
I have been working hard to start a craft business. I have a booth at the Quilted Bear in Provo. So far, not much luck, but with this economy, it's to be expected. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!
Well, I don't have too much time for typing now, I WILL try to be more diligent about posting in the future.

Life changes--duh!

2008-09-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Whee, it's been a while, hasn't it? It's been really busy around here. Trying to get a business going with our family website, www.krazycraft.com, selling stuff at the farmer's market and...drumroll please....
Buying a house!
Yes, we are taking the plunge. We found a home that is older, the decor is very Grandma Chic, and the wiring needs some serious help, but it's a great price. We'll spend about a week before moving in getting everything cleaned up, painted, and the wiring fixed. Then Jeff will be closer to school and work, which will seriously reduce his commute time. That's something he is VERY happy about.
This will mean a lot higher housing payment, but with the reduction in gas costs, we should be able to handle it. We'll have a big back yard for the girls, garden space, room for fruit trees...everything we want.
I'm going to be selling some stuff at a festival at the grade school on Monday. I'm hoping to make a decent amount to pay down my materials costs.
Lessee...the girls are getting so big! Esther is actually two now! My baby girl is now a big girl! Taemarin is crawling all over the place, getting into everything within reach. She is so cute, with her big smile! She's been teething lately. Several at once. It's made her kinda cranky. Still, she is mostly smiley and happy.
Jeff is doing well in computer classes, though he is buried in homework. Two more years, we hope, and he should be done.
As we go into fall, we've got major changes in store for us. That seems to be the way it is, sometimes. Things seem to drag for a while, then shake up in a major way. Like the techtonic plates of the earth. They slide along for a while, quietly, then something gets hung up, breaks loose, and the area around gets shaken apart. We're going into changes somewhere around an 8.5, I think. Wish us luck!

Summertime Blahs

2008-06-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Good grief! Has it really been that long?
All I have to do is look at Taemarin busting out of her clothes to answer that question. My sweet little newborn is now a sweet little interested-in-everything-that-Esther-does. She follows Esther's movements like a hawk. They'll either be the best of friends, or WWIII incarnate.
Esther's vocabulary continues to improve. She knows many words. Or half words, depending on your point of view. The problem is that she doesn't seem to want to use them. She'll cry for something instead of using the word for it, even though she knows the word. We'll keep working with it, she can ask for one or two things. Especially "bah", which is bath. We've got a little fish on our hands.
Taea is the same way. I sometimes take her in the tub with me, and she will sit on my lap and kick and splash, with a huge grin on her face. Hopefully, I'll be able to get both of them swimming lessons when they're old enough.
Life around here is hectic. With my brother's help, we're launching a website. www.krazycraft.com. It's not entirely ready yet, so in order to raise some capital, I'm going to sell at the Provo City farmer's Market. It's a fairly small market, so I don't expect to make a fortune, but the more vendors there the better the turnout will be. We hope.
Jeff is back in school, which means that on weekdays he is gone from 7 or 8 in the morning until after ten at night. It's depressing, but the sooner he gets through school, the better.
Well, gotta make this short. My messy kitchen needs to be dealt with. Hopefully, I'll get better at posting more often.

After Christmas Blahs

2008-01-02T11:11:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. It was a good one for us, better than I thought, thanks to our family. We were a little worried about having the money to get anything for the girls, their aunties made up for it in spades! Esther is presently having a blast with all the toys, which, combined with everything else they've spoiled her with, are overflowing her toy bin.
Little Taemarin is getting more alert by the day. It would be so fun to take her outside to see the trees and birds and sunshine...but it's freezing outside. Esther hates being cooped up all the time. We have boots and snow clothing for her, but she has a cold right now. If she's better by the next snowstorm, then she and Daddy can go out and make a snowman. Daddy got some new boots and gloves for Christmas, so he can have fun with the girls.
We had family over for Christmas and New Years. Mark's kids went sledding off the hill into the park. They had a lot of fun despite the cold.
And now, the holidays are over, we're totting up the cost, and dreading the cold darkness still to come. Depression comes all too easily these days, with the sun in hiding. I usually love snow, but right now all it means is that I'm trapped inside.
Spring will come soon enough, I hope. Until then, I guess we'll just have to make the best of it. It is giving me opportunity to finish some projects, like crocheting and sewing.
Eventually, I'll post some pictures. Till then, if you want to see what the girls are up to, email me and I'll send you some directly!
The girls are calling. Back to the trenches.

Life after Thanksgiving

2007-11-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

Whew! The turkey has been stripped, the pies have been eaten, the stuffing is gone...
And, of course, we don't want to think about how much weight has been gained!
We had a good Thanksgiving. We gathered at Uncle Doug's house with some of Aunt Joan's family. It was a great dinner, and everyone got to see our new baby. She's doing somewhat better now, sleeping about 3-4 hours at a stretch.
Sadly, that is partly due to the fact that she's on straight formula now. My body simply refuses to produce enough milk for her, so I've stopped breastfeeding. I may have better luck next time, I don't know, but I have all the indicators for a genetic condition called "hypoplastic", which means that I don't have enough milk glands. That being the likely cause, I may never be able to nurse properly.
Well, I tried. For a week and a half, I tried so hard, and my supply just dwindled. I'll just have to leave it in the Lord's hands from here. Esther was more or less the same situation, and she's healthy.
On a brighter note, Christmas is coming. Time to pull out the tree! Esther loves lights, it's going to be fun to see her watching them glitter. We have lights that race around, some that play music, and some with bi-colored bulbs. Gift shopping will be a bit sparse this year, due to financial concerns, but we'll do our best to make sure no one is forgotten.
Esther is getting into mischief again. She's getting a bit bolder about her sister, a few days ago she bit her on the toe. I'm not sure why, she probably thought it was a game since we pretend to nibble toes and stuff. It's so hard to tell her "no" when she's just trying to play. I don't want to turn her off completely from playing with her sister, but I can't just give her free rein, either. It's all a balancing act, and I definitely have more respect for moms with lots of kids. I am not the most patient person in the world, I guess this is supposed to teach me otherwise, eh?
I think that's all for now, sleep deprivation is making my brain fuzzy.

Welcome Home Taemarin!

2007-11-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

Gotta make this post quick, baby just woke up!
My newest bundle of joy, Taemarin Lily Calkin, was born on November 8, at 10:30 am, after a mere 2 1/2 hours of induced labor. (She has since made up for the short labor by keeping me awake most of the night!) It turns out I was already 5 cm/80% effaced when I went in, so it likely would have happened soon anyway!
She was 7 lbs 13 oz, 20 inches long, and looks a lot like her sister, except for a fine layer of dark hair. What color it will turn later, we have no idea! Could be red, like Jeff's family, or it could go blond and then dark when she's older, like my family.
Mom and baby are doing well, aside from some exhaustion. Esther is...well, mildly curious and occasionally jealous, but she's handling it well, and so far hasn't tried to hurt the baby or even touch her beyond a few light pats on the head.
I'll post more later as/if time permits.

Almost there!

2007-11-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

I look at the calendar, I look again, and I can't believe it's November. As of tomorrow, it will be one week till my due date.

It's not like we're not ready. We're just not quite "ready". We have her clothes arranged in the drawers and hung up on the rack, we have a bassinet in our room, we still have to dig the car seat out of its box and get the base strapped into the van, but it's at least accessible. The "ready" part, however, doesn't account for emotional readiness. I already have one baby to care for, and she's quite a handful! Jeff is busy with school and work...still, we knew it was right at the time, and it's still right. This little girl is coming to our family, ready or not!
At the moment, however, we're not sure when the blessed event will arrive. Yeah, I know, nobody ever is. Except when you're induced, of course. That's the confusing part, here. My doctor gave me a list of dates. The 5th, 8th, and 15th of November. Initially I took the 5th, (hey, five days early ain't gonna hurt!), but doing it on a Monday would interfere too much with Jeff's work and school schedule. So I set it for the 15th, a Thursday, which means he would probably miss class but not miss work since I'd be in the hospital all day Friday anyway.
However, for the last week I've been noticing more and more contractions, not to mention the fact that the baby's head has been dropped into position for almost a month. She is clearly ready, it's just my body that's not doing its job.
So, I called the office again to see if there were any openings for the 8th instead. Just my luck, the doctor wasn't in today, and the nurses can't find her schedule book.
Drat.
So now I'm waiting until Monday to see if the date can be moved. If not, well, , what's an extra week?
And there's nothing that says she won't kick hard enough to break my water before then. In which case I'll be in the hospital muy pronto! We keep joking about the most embarrassing place for it to happen. At the store? Yes, that's embarrassing. But I think the worst would be right in the middle of sacrament meeting. Sitting in church, and suddenly my water breaks all over the pew.
THAT would be embarrassment!
Well, I think that's all for the moment. Short, I know, but Numb3rs will be on shortly and I don't wanna miss it.
Yes, I'll post again as soon as I know more about the date, and of course I'll post full details when Taemarin makes her debut in the world.

Hey, what happened to fall??

2007-10-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, so who flipped the switch two months early here??? Saturday afternoon, Jeff's sitting at the computer working, Esther is napping, and I'm puttering around trying not to wake her up. I look out the window.
Guess what I see?
SNOW!
It has been fall for less than a week, and it's snowing! Shiminy, people, what happened to fall?
Okay, yes, it is much warmer today, so the snow has all melted off, but it was weird. I'm used to not seeing snow until November at the earliest, maybe Halloween. So does this mean we're going to be up to our eyeballs in snow when Taemarin is born?
Not a pleasant thought.
Still, we can definitely use the water. Our water year was way low, about 65%. Blessing in disguise, dunno. We'll take what we get.
Jeff is well into school now, working on his second project for computer class, and getting royally sick of Greek mythology in Humanities. For some reason, in his high school, they didn't study greek myths so he's having trouble with the "who's who" part of it. The Greeks generally didn't bother to explain all that much since it was their history. They knew who was who! But he'll survive. Work is going well, his company recently did computer support for a fundraiser for Mitt Romney's campaign, so they're getting some name recognition out there. His jaw has been giving him issues, probably grinding at night like I used to, but we're working on it with a rubber guard at night.
Esther is growing up so darn fast! Getting into everything, learning more words, she finally called me Mama a few days ago. Hasn't since, but she generally has the idea of who is who when we name names. She's getting better around strangers too, not quite so freaked out. We went out to eat Saturday because...well, see below for that whole story...and she was charming all the servers, grinning and chattering at them. I look through our old pics, and she is looking more and more like a little girl instead of a baby. More like "herself" instead of either Jeff or me. She's a willful, stubborn little stink at times, but hey, all little kids go through the phases of learning their boundaries, and she is no exception.
And as for the Mommy? Well, this was not a good week. I had a jaw infection that sent me to bed on pain meds for two days while poor Jeff picked up the slack and tried to do school and work as well. Man, I love that guy! Mom was out of town so she couldn't help. My brother's daughter had a seizure at school, so she was freaked about that too, and then for the cherry on top, I fell flat on my face spread-eagle on the sidewalk on Saturday when I went out to get the mail. I felt like the world's clumsiest walrus. Fortunately, I landed on my hands and knees first before continuing down to my right side, so the baby didn't take the brunt of the impact. Other than a twisted leg, there doesn't seem to be any lasting effect.
I can't wait to have this baby!
I know, all you moms out there are saying "just you wait till she's out, then you'll wish she was back in again!" Taking care of two babies at once will be quite a challenge. But hey, at least I'll have my body back to do it!
Life otherwise is...well, life. We've just about got things organized in the nursery, though Taemarin will be sleeping in our room until Esther gets used to her "big girl" bed. She's taken to peeling the decorative stickers off the wall, I have to keep getting after her about that. Someday, maybe, she'll prefer putting stickers ON the wall as opposed to ripping them OFF.
I suppose that's our news for now. I'll attempt to post a bit more often. Especially when Taea is born. Can't wait, 40 more days.....!!!

Fall is coming!

2007-09-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

As anyone in Utah could tell you, fall is finally attempting to make an appearance. Already, the foliage in the upper mountains is changing color. Apparently, the hotter the summer, the earlier this happens. In fact, we could have snow on the peaks by Tuesday.
From what the weatherman says, we could have a very wet, snowy winter.
Most people are probably groaning in dismay. Me, I say "YIPPEE!"
No, I'm not a skier or snowboarder, I just happen to like colder weather. Driving in it is a pain, and keeping my girls warm will probably be a bit of a challenge, but hey. BUGS ARE DYING BY THE MILLIONS! I hate bugs. Anything in our house with more than four legs gets slaughtered on sight. There are two exceptions. Ladybugs and Daddy Long-legs spiders. They eat other bugs, so I just catch them and throw them out the door.
I love the colors of fall, and I'm looking forward to our first decent sized leaf pile to throw Esther into. She loves being outside. All you have to do is say the word "outside" and she runs for the front door. I got her up from a nap yesterday and said "Outside?" She practically tried to run straight through the bars of her crib!
Weeds will also be dying, which is a boon to this part of the state. The city council has decided to crack down on people with messy yards, only they're taking it a bit far. If you have weeds more than six inches high in your yard, or anything laying around that shouldn't be, like unused construction material, they will give you a warning, then start fining you $50 a day.
Yup, we got a warning. We haven't been able to afford grass for the backyard yet, so the weeds get out of hand pretty quickly. We'll have to do something this spring, unless a last-ditch attempt at seeding this fall actually works. The soil out here is so poor, it's hard for any seeds to take root unless you amend the soil half to death.
Well, that's my take on fall in a nutshell. Watch, three months from now I'll be posting my latest whine about how cold it is. Oh well, at least I won't be pregnant anymore!

Introducing our Family

2007-08-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I've last posted. For anyone out there that was actually following the Aathea saga, I'm still working on it. I cancelled most of my blogs while working/moving/having major upheavals in my life, and I do not know that they will ever return. Still, if anyone is interested to see how the world of Aathea has grown, send me an email.
Yes, my screen names etc have changed. This blog, of course, will be focusing on my real-life family rather than the imaginary world I used to inhabit. If I ever do get back into posting my stories, it will be under a different blog.
So, what am I up to now? Well, I am married now, I have one daughter and another on the way. My second daughter will actually be named Taemarin, so eventually, I'll have to surrender my email names.
Oh well. Life goes on.
I'm living in Utah now, and as the title of this blog suggests, I am a Stay-at-Home mom. It's fun, frustrating, exhausting, and rewarding all at the same time. I think any Stay-at-Home mom would tell you the same. As we go more posts, if there's any working moms that would like some reasons to quit and stay home, I think I can provide them.
This one will be short as it's rather late (for a preggie, that is!), but I will try to make an effort to keep this reasonably well updated.